Remember when Michael Barrymore was such a big deal that America wanted to steal him and put him on US television? His mixture of long limbs and open-contempt for gameshow contestants really was a winning formula in light entertainment!
And who could forget his touching tribute to the fallen Notorious B.I.G. which saw Barrymore rapping 'I'll Be Missing You' on My Kind Of Music?
Alas, an incident in his scrotum shaped swimming pool with Stuart Lubbock saw that his career nosedived quicker than a Japanese WWII pilot, leaving him to appear ghost-like in Celebrity Big Brother. So what's he been doing since? Well, if you must know, the answer appears to be 'loads of coke'.
We must point out that we don't actually know if Barrymore has been doing loads of cocaine. What we do know is that, before a judge, he admitted cocaine possession when he appeared in court following an early-morning car collision.
After a prang in his Citroen, Bazzamore was held after officers on routine patrol discovered the scene at the junction of The Vale and Dordrecht Road.
We included the street names on the off-chance you'd like to make it some kind of Barrymore shrine. And who wouldn't?
Either way, he was found to have coke on him – he may have been holding it for a friend or, indeed, just had a little on him for special occasions – and a law wanted a word.
He admitted possessing cocaine during an appearance at Ealing Magistrates' Court today, while a second charge of being drunk and disorderly, was withdrawn.
He was fined a total of £780, which buys a decent about of cocaine, should you be the kind of person who needs to blot out that nagging voice that persistently tells you that you cocked up your hugely successful career by being a wreckless nitwit.
Oh well. There's always drink. He's not a recovering alcoholic as well is he?
Well sod him then. He's made his bloody bed, so he can pissing well lie in it. We're not wiping his backside forever, y'know?
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