A NumberOnesdump for 2011: from Cardle's authentic noise to ladies missing 'our boys'

People keep going "oh the singles chart doesn't mean anything any more BLAH BLAH BLAH WHAT TIME'S ANTIQUES ROADSHOW ON OOH MY BACK'S GIVING ME JIP ETC" but a Number One single is still a Number One single and you can't argue with that.

2011's Number Ones began with Matt Cardle, ended with the Military Wives and - somewhere in the middle - got even worse but, in parts, a lot better too.

Here are all the singles that were Number One in 2011, in the order that they hit Number One. A couple (Adele, Rihanna and Calvin) were Number One twice, due to double amazingness.

» Matt Cardle - 'When We Collide'
» Rihanna feat Drake - 'What's My Name?'
» Bruno Mars - 'Grenade' <<< BOLLOCKS THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON OUR TOP 45 SINGLES LIST
» Kesha - 'We R Who We R' <<< AND THIS
» Jessie J feat B.o.B - 'Price Tag'
» Adele - 'Someone Like You'    
» Nicole Scherzinger - 'Don't Hold Your Breath'
» Jennifer Lopez feat Pitbull - 'On the Floor'    
» LMFAO feat Lauren Bennett and GoonRock - 'Party Rock Anthem'
» Bruno Mars - 'The Lazy Song'    
» Pitbull feat Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer - 'Give Me Everything'
» Example - 'Changed the Way You Kiss Me'
» Jason Derülo - 'Don't Wanna Go Home'
» DJ Fresh feat Sian Evans - 'Louder'
» The Wanted - 'Glad You Came'    
» JLS feat Dev - 'She Makes Me Wanna'
» Cher Lloyd - 'Swagger Jagger'
» Nero - 'Promises'
» Wretch 32 feat Josh Kumra - 'Don't Go'
» Olly Murs feat Rizzle Kicks - 'Heart Skips a Beat'
» Example - 'Stay Awake'
» Pixie Lott - 'All About Tonight'
» One Direction - 'What Makes You Beautiful'
» Dappy - 'No Regrets'    
» Sak Noel - 'Loca People'
» Rihanna feat Calvin Harris - 'We Found Love'
» Professor Green featuring Emeli Sandé - 'Read All About It'    
» The X Factor Finalists 2011 feat JLS & One Direction - 'Wishing on a Star'
» Olly Murs - 'Dance with Me Tonight'
» Little Mix - 'Cannonball'
» Military Wives with Gareth Malone - 'Wherever You Are'

SOME 'STATS'

Number One singles: 31
X Factor-related acts (half marks for a featured artist): 9
Artists you'd expect to see in a similar list five years from now (half marks for a featured artist): 6
Solo women (half marks for a featured artist): 10.5
Solo men (half marks for a featured artist): 19
Bands (half marks for a featured artist): 11
Proper guitar-type bands: 0
Actual ballads: 4
Mid-tempos: 7
Cover versions: 2
In The Club and/or dancing stuff: 12
Songs specifically about going to spain, seeing people partying and thinking to yourself, 'what the fuck?': 1
Ludicrous 'interpolations' of either 'The Lambada', 'My Darling Clementine' or 'Day-O The Banana Boat Song': 3

AND NOW HERE'S THE LIST IN ORDER OF HOW GOOD THE SONGS ACTUALLY ARE

1. Rihanna feat Calvin Harris - 'We Found Love'
2. Olly Murs feat Rizzle Kicks - 'Heart Skips a Beat'
3. Nicole Scherzinger - 'Don't Hold Your Breath'
4. Adele - 'Someone Like You'
5. One Direction - 'What Makes You Beautiful'
6. Example - 'Changed the Way You Kiss Me'
7. Rihanna feat Drake - 'What's My Name?'
8. Bruno Mars - 'Grenade'
9. Nero - 'Promises'
10. Kesha - 'We R Who We R'   
11. DJ Fresh feat Sian Evans - 'Louder'
12. Jennifer Lopez feat Pitbull - 'On the Floor'   
13. JLS feat Dev - 'She Makes Me Wanna'
14. Jessie J feat B.o.B - 'Price Tag'
15. Pixie Lott - 'All About Tonight'
16. Dappy - 'No Regrets'   
17. Sak Noel - 'Loca People'
18. Professor Green featuring Emeli Sandé - 'Read All About It'
19. LMFAO feat Lauren Bennett and GoonRock - 'Party Rock Anthem'
20. Example - 'Stay Awake'
21. Wretch 32 feat Josh Kumra - 'Don't Go'
22. Cher Lloyd - 'Swagger Jagger'
23. The Wanted - 'Glad You Came'   
24. Jason Derülo - 'Don't Wanna Go Home'
25. Military Wives - 'Where You Are'
26. Matt Cardle - 'When We Collide'
27. The X Factor Finalists 2011 feat JLS & One Direction - 'Wishing on a Star'
28. Little Mix - 'Cannonball'
29. Pitbull feat Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer - 'Give Me Everything'
30. Olly Murs - 'Dance with Me Tonight'
31. Bruno Mars - 'The Lazy Song'   

It's quite exciting looking at the list - utter shit as a good proportion of it is - knowing that this time last year we had no idea that most of the decent songs would ever exist. Which suggests that there is just as much amazingness due to arrive at the 'top spot' during the next twelve months. BRACE YOURSELVES.