Paul McCartney To Do ‘Standards’ Album Because He’s Officially Out Of Good Ideas

Paul McCartney is bringing a new album out. There's a phrase that hasn't caused too much excitement since Wings were knee-high to a grasshopper. Unless, of course, you're a bloated Beatle fanatic who is unable to hear any criticism against any of the Fabs. Ever.

Unless it's Ringo.

The fact remains, Macca is going to stick a new LP out on 7th February and he's doing a whole bunch of cover versions because, sadly for him, he's run out of ideas. The last vague hit he had was 'Dance Tonight' and that was thoroughly poo.

Apparently, this new album will be a "deeply personal journey" which will see Macca covering old-timey American songs that inspired him and bandmate John Lennon when they wrote their own tunes.

In a statement (because new albums definitely need 'a statement'), Sir Paulio said:

"When I kind of got into songwriting, I realized how well structured these songs were, and I think I took a lot of my lessons from them"

"I always thought artists like Fred Astaire were very cool. Writers like Harold Arlen, Cole Porter, all of those guys – I just thought the songs were magical. And then, as I got to be a songwriter I thought it's beautiful, the way they made those songs."

Well duh.

McCartney will be teaming up with jazzist Diana Krall and producer Tommy LiPuma who got the recovering mop top to record his vocals in a booth without instruments for the first time in his musical career.

"It was very spontaneous, kind of organic, which then reminded me of the way we'd work with the Beatles. We'd bring a song in, kick it around, when we found a way to do it we'd say 'Okay, let's do a take now' and by the time everyone kind of had an idea of what they were doing, we'd learnt the song. So that's what we did, we did the take live in the studio."

So how's he been doing it since The Beatles? Being lazy and accepting that the first version is the one that gets used because everyone surrounding him is constantly telling him how bloody wonderful he is?

Not that Paul will be short of sycophants on this new album as he's drafted in Stevie Wonder and Eric Clapton to tickle his ego. That said, Stevie and Clapton probably won't be in the same room together, especially if Mr Wonder recalls Clapton once shouting from the stage of a show:

"Do we have any foreigners in the audience tonight? If so, please put up your hands. Wogs I mean, I'm looking at you… Where are you? I'm sorry but some fucking wog… Arab grabbed my wife's bum, you know? Surely got to be said, yeah this is what all the fucking foreigners and wogs over here are like, just disgusting, that's just the truth, yeah. So where are you? Well wherever you all are, I think you should all just leave. Not just leave the hall, leave our country."

"Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I'm into racism. It's much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs… Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!"

Ebony and ivory, live together in perfect harmony. Side-by-side on my piano, keyboard…