Barry Manilow Now Two Eyes Away From Being Entirely Man-Made After Hip Replacement

Barry Manilow, these days, looks like a man constantly doing a bank robbery with a pair of tights squeezed over that peculiar face of his. That's the perils of indulging in FAR TOO MUCH plastic surgery folks!

And now, Baz The Manilow is shuffling to recovery after undergoing hip replacement surgery, like he's someone's nan.

Of course, now he's got new hips, only his eyeballs are the things he was born with, leaving absolutely everything else constructed by now incredibly wealthy plastic surgeons. Basically, he's the Frankenstein's Monster of MOR.

The 362-year-old star underwent an operation to treat an inflammatory condition called bursitis or something and quacks repaired some torn leg muscles. Presumably, they were under too much strain after being pulled toward his eerily immovable face.

If you ever see Manilow with a jazz beard, you can absolutely assume that his facelift is so tight that it has pulled his public hair all the way up to his neck.

In a letter posted on Facebook, Manilow gave fans an update on his progress.

He wrote:

"I tell you, going though something as rough as this makes you very grateful for a lot of things. Grateful for the genius doctors who can perform this incredibly complicated surgery; grateful for the caregivers who treated me like their own family and most of all grateful for good health. I will never, never take being healthy for granted again.

"Not being able to do anything without a team of people helping me was an eye opener. And I mean anything. Like getting out of bed or getting to the john to brush my teeth…"

Aw, someone had to help him whizz! That's nice isn't it? We bet his genitals look exactly like his face.

He added:

"The good news is that after three nightmarish weeks, I'm coming back from the dead. I'm slowly beginning to walk – still with a walker – but I think that will be over soon… The doctors say that everything should start to ease up by the end of this week. If that's so, what a great New Year's Eve I'm going to have!"

A great NYE with the weirdest face in pop! HURRAY! Hopefully, he can have a think about that song of his, 'I Write The Songs', which he didn't write. It's been bugging us for years!