Everyone Now Quite Desperate For Katy Perry And Russell Brand To Split

Hey! Did you hear about Russell Brand and Katy Perry spending Christmas away from each other? They haven't been married very long have they? You'd think they'd want to spend the festives (aka Some Time Off Work) together, right?

Well, aside from the myriad of perfectly legitimate reasons why this happened, they're quite obviously splitting up.

Why? Because that's what everyone wants. Basically, they've got the temerity to appear rather fond of each other. Mercifully, there's a source on-hand to tell us all otherwise, which is incredibly convenient.

The pair had apparently planned for Katy's family to get whisked to London via private jet for the holidays, but alas, Perry changed her mind and decided instead, to faff around in Hawaii with her friends.

The source says:

"They had a massive fight. She was like, 'F–k you. I'm going to do my own thing.' Russell replied, 'Fine, f–k you too.'"

So that's why Katy Perry was papped in a bikini while frollicking around in the Pacific Ocean off Kauai without her wedding ring! That's why Brand was sat in a pub in Coverack, Cornwall!

Of course, previous stories about this pair have been about pregnancy and near constant reminders of Brand's former penchant for heroin, but alas, as relapses and baby-bumps weren't fast enough, we've had to focus our attentions on looking for cracks to form in their relationship.

That source again:

"They haven't split up just yet, but things are not good. The fighting is getting worse."

Why?

"Katy doesn't think Russell respects her parents' Christian beliefs or her friends."

WILL THEY SPLIT IN 2012?! God, we hope so! And if they could time it with a quiet news day, that would be ideal! Many thanks, The Media.