Uh-oh! There's a baby due in New York City! That can only mean one thing! Beyonce is going to have her fake baby bump removed after what seems like only a month of wearing it and some surrogate is going to hand over a beautiful child!
Or, indeed, she's actually going to force one out of her toot. Unlikely though, right?
Obviously, the story has been that she cleverly concealed her pregnancy before revealing it at the MTV Music Awards… but that can't possibly be right can it? Effectively, while we like Beyonce's music, we thoroughly don't trust her. You've heard 1+1, If I Were A Boy and Ego right?
Anyway, B is apparently moments away from giving birth to her first child and nurses at New York's St Luke's Roosevelt hospital are said to have been told to prepare for a celebrity VIP. Just like the speedy pregnancy, she could be popping one out as early as TODAY.
We can also assume that the saccharine tribute to her bundle of joy has already been written, complete with lines like "you complete me" and something to do with miracles.
Of course, what with Beyonce and Jay Z being ostentatious, they've booked half the floor of the hospital's Labor and Delivery Suite, which invariably means that loads of other New Yoikers will be giving birth in the street on wallpapering tables, delivered by Doctor Nick (Hi everybody!).
A spokesperson for the singer was unavailable for comment earlier today.
Mercifully, we never ever need an official line from celebrities we're talking about because, ostensibly, everyone is making this shit up anyway.
Great!
We should all totally start speculating about what she's gonna call the baby. We're putting our money on Jermajesty or Sandra.
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