Engelbert Humperdinck’s Eurovision Song – Listen With Your Ears (Russia To Win)

Here we are then. We're a collection of countries faced with an Engelbert Humperdinck song, designed to win us the Eurovision Song Contest against all those tactical voting swine who hated us since we invaded some oil-rich nations.

Not tanning oil, which Humperdinck is so clearly fond of.

And you're probably willing us to stop stalling for time, and get on with playing you the damned record he'll be performing while wearing a Union Jack tanga-brief under his expensive suit that inevitably reeks of Hai Karate. Click over the jump and you'll hear it then.

 And so, with some further ado, here is Engelbert's Eurovision entry which, alarmingly, is rather tasteful. No camp Eurobeat action here.

Gentle, Spanish strumming (no, that's not a euphemism) and a pair of belting lungs (also not a euphemism), a key change and that's about it.

Seriously.

Have a listen and, if you get bored, try and think of all the names that Eddie Izzard said around Humperdinck's in that famous routine of his.

Still, its nothing compared to the Russian entry this year. Seriously. Brace yourself. Not a tooth between 'em.