Robert Pattinson? Shooting his own hand off? Surely any right-minded bullet would be too bored in his presence to actually get the gumption to pass through his doughy flesh? Alas, this is the movies where all manner of unlikely things happen!
That's right – in new flick Cosmopolis, R-Pattz shoots a Jesus hole in his hand, stabs someone in the eye socket and has lots of sex.
Great news if you're able to stay awake while he's on-screen that is.
The Twilight dullard is desperate to shake off those cloying, shrieking Twihards that dog his dreams, and clearly, has decided to make a film they won't be able to watch.
And in the first teaser for David Cronenberg's adaptation of Don Delillo's 2003 novel, we see violence and sex.
Juliette Binoche, Paul Giamatti and Samantha Morton also star in this film and is all incredibly grown-up and whatnot, which probably means its pretty boring.
Of course, the final chapter of Twilight (Breaking Dawn – Part 2) is out later this year, which is of absolutely no interest to anyone over the age of 14.
Until then, watch the Cosmopolis trailer but… BE WARNED… it contains 'adult content' which ostensibly means 'a bit of boob'.
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