S Club 7 To Reconvene, Hecklerspray’s DIY 90s Pop Reunion Template Article

So that's Blue, Steps, Spice Girls, Take That, No Doubt, 911 (Really?), Soundgarden (Jesus…), 'Space' (WHAT) and Babylon Zoo all reunited and back in our hearts once again. For the good of music.

The dream team are back. (Not 'the Dream Team' though. Just the idiom.) What an incredibly unexpected blast from the past! What a lovable foray back into 90s kitsch! What a beautifully orchestrated look into the disenfranchised work ethic of the average mid-30s misogynist. Soundgarden. Brilliant.

In case you haven't realised yet – we don't know how – maybe you were tired – maybe you woke up in a bunk-bed – maybe you were too busy thinking, "Crikey, it's great about Space, isn't it?" Hey. Whatever it was that you 'had' to do that made you not walk full pelt into the conclusion – that we are lying. That's it. We're liars. We do not think that every band that hit prominence in the late 90s, thus reinforcing the painstakingly dull ebb of a nation's continued thrusting urgency for cheesy nostalgia, or an excuse to lift Lee Ryan's restraining order on woodland creatures, vulnerable women and sci-fi is necessarily a good idea. Oh, and we also lied about Babylon Zoo. Sucks to be you right now.

In light of the fact that kook merchants of casual trip-hop pastiche and of course muted xenophobia S Club 7 have now jumped the shark and hopped straight back on to the post-post-post ironic bandwagon (Well, it's probably more like a Skoda due to a minor incident with Jo O'Meara's savings account) we suspect that the novelty isn't planning on merging into a weak ebb of despair in any 20 something ex A1 fans' heart right this moment.

(Come on, we're borderline Generation Y for flip's sake. Do you think all that Sunny Delight California is going to digest overnight?)

We're sure if your IMDB page read CD:UK Christmas Special and Miami 7 and were given the oppurtunity for a lucrative stadium tour in the midst of a mid-life crisis that had you resembling something of a person who has watched all of Peter Jackson's films back to back – you TOO would be strapping back on the bacofoil and frosted lipgloss to wherever the skin was still moist enough to stick. Its not so much a Catch 22 as it is Schrodinger's cat's funeral.

So in light of all this mess – we thought we'd 'bring it all back to you' and have henceforth constructed this delightful makeshift 90s pop band reunion article to whet your whistle (Antony Costa's still just in his 30s, ladies!) for the next very clever indeed resurgence of lycra smattered, cornrow sadists. (Although if there was any hope for Sugababes 2.0 we'd be out the door like bloody SARS.)

So here it is. The Hecklerspray Pop Band Reunion Template Article. Just delete as appropiate.

Stop the presses! We have some delightful/troubling/bowel difficulties/entirely irrelevent pop news this morning for you that's bound to put a Stomp/Groove/Macarena/Pump/Genie back into your Step/Heart/Pelvic floor muscles/night/day/jam/bottle.

Yes, you heard it here first. Rednex/Snap!/Roxette/EMF/Shania Twain/Eiffel 65/The Cardigans/Funkstar De Luxe/Paul Mckenna/Beenie Man/Honeyz/Cleopatra/Semisonic/Cast/Dj Otzi/Dj Sammy/T-Spoon/Touch & Go/Sash/Phil Collins are getting back together.

WELL – Hold the Nokia 3310/Sony Walkman where you have to bash it around a bit to attempt to get Steve Strange to enunciate properly/Tango megaphone a moment! That is absolutely fantastic/awful/inconvenient/a terrible waste of money spent on regressive therapy sessions!

Yes – after eight years/45 minutes/'a spell in the jungle' the lovable girls/boys/students from the Simon Cowell school of Amateur Finger Puppeteers have put aside their differences/children/lunch meats and agreed to a lucrative 28 date stadium/club/those nice Marks and Spencers cafes for their masses of nostalgic/menopausal/mentally diseased but with hearts in the right place but what does a good respitory system matter when you're blchampioning the facets of Brian Harvey/adoring fans.

After the questionable third solo album from Beenie Man/Beenie Man/Beenie Man/Beenie Man, they agreed to dust off the hotpants/white suits/Ronan Keating face moulds and give it one last shot for old time's sake/all four flavours of the limited edition Kitkat Chunky. And with hits like Love/hold/Feel my Heart/Unbridled Contempt for Keith Duffy/Soul – who can blame them, and we're sure you'll be singing along too/drowning in a bath somewhere with a packet of Haribo Tangfastic.

So there you have it. Now. Which ones of you actually googled Babylon Zoo?