Skins Review: Hark! A Vagrant!

"Fresh Meat is coming up in an hour," are our most dreaded words, not because we'd rather crawl into an oven than watch anything where Jack Whitehall plays Jack Whitehall, but because they mean Skins is on for the next sixty minutes.

It's all right though, because, this is the penultimate episode so as well as wondering how you spent a good eight weeks watching this in absolute isolation, you can look forward to the days where people might consider letting you near them again without risk of you blurting out terms of endearment that involve the word, "Delish."

For now though we're all going to happily continue from where we left of which is exactly with; Oh hark, a vagrant!

It's Liv's turn once again to paint the town red with bloody vomit as she sicks on every expensive surface in Bristol while searching for her self-worth and fashion sense. Wait! She's bringing the bikinis out just in time for the horrible disgusting body horror cirrhosis of the liver! Proving they do know what actual human teenagers do, we get to see Liv indulging in a bit of self-diagnosing on the internet like the best of us, obviously cancer comes up trumps. Of course Liv just drinks through it.

It's all getting a bit serious in these final days of college between the folly of youth and the absolute desolation. We don't know about you, but we feel a little worse for wear by 11 every Monday evening. Skins isn't meant to have this effect, it's meant to be a bunch of teenagers failing to have enough money to pay for their weed, instead it's now a group of people running on empty and coping with these horrible situations in the crappiest way possible. Hell even the music's growing up a bit.

And holy cow, Matty's back! And he's just lying naked all over the place with his horrendously hairy lower half, making everyone cry and acting like the hero he is! He's back just in time to ruin everyone's A Level's.

These people are the worst group of friend's you could ever ask for and that's a fact. Frankie can no longer articulate her thoughts without dropping a needless F-bomb at least three times a sentence and everybody else just ignores each other until they want to have sex, do drugs, or, erm, be cod-rock 'n' roll.

If you made it to end of last night's Skins, then it was in vain because all the horrible body horror was actually mental deformities in the heads of everyone who has ever been involved with Skins in any way whatsoever.

It all got a bit teary again when FINALLY someone visits Grace's grave – you know the one that's been there for like the whole series apparently? Yeah, that one.

Then again why would any of them want to visit a stone when they're all still having wild hallucinations that can walk, talk, and do drugs just like them? Eh? Exactly.