Making a good first impression is important. In books it sets the tone, in social surroundings it allows busy idiots the chance to judge us, and in job interviews it provides a useful opportunity to explain that whilst, yes, you are technically on the sex offenders' register it was all a terrible mix-up and could have happened to anyone.
In music, the first line is underrated. We barely even notice them unless they're clunky or funny.
The best first lines can, like the opening of Kafka's Metamorphosis, throw you right into the action or they can, like A Tale of Two Cities, set a vivid scene. They can provide an aggressive statement of intent or they can be just plain funny.
So we thought we'd run through some of our favourites. We've not attempted the futile task of ranking them. We like reducing art to a crass competition as much as the next blog but comparing sentences to each other seemed a step too far even for us.
We've avoided anything 'iconic'. Whilst the fact that everyone knows the first line of Stairway to Heaven means it has obviously succeeded, it also means that we don't need to remind you about it. And besides it's not that good an opening lyric.
There's nothing more than 40 years old, as lyrics were only invented in 1972 with the release of Superfly by Curtis Mayfield.
Prior to this, all songs were instrumentals.
Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing
Baby I'm hot just like an oven, I need some lovin'
We couldn't decide whether this is fantastic or embarrassing. Then we remembered it was Marvin Gaye and is therefore fantastic. It certainly wouldn't retain the same charm if it came out of Robbie Williams' mouth since his mouth is where charm goes when it's had enough of being charming and has instead decided to give 'deeply irritating' a go.
Human League – Don't You Want Me
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you
Evocative, affecting and more 1980s than Molly Ringwald's film career.
McLusky – Gareth Brown Says
All of your friends are cunts, your mother is a ballpoint pen thief
Andy Falkous of noughties noise rock band McLusky is a clever and funny bastard on any day when it comes to lyrics. The day he wrote this he was just showing off.
NWA – Straight Outta Compton
You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge
Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
From the gang called Niggaz With Attitude
We challenge you to find any first lyrics from a first song on a first album that come at you with this level of energy. It says no less than "hello middle America! We're about to deepen the rift between you and your children and confuse you indefinitely about whether you are allowed to use the n word".
Silver Jews – Random Rules
In 1984 I was hospitalized for approaching perfection
Judging by this lyric 'approaching perfection' is something of a habit for David Berman.
The All Seeing I – Walk Like a Panther
Marie has set up home
With a man who's half my age
A halfwit in a leotard stands on my stage
Jarvis Cocker knows how to set a scene but there's something about his lyrics being instilled with a particular brand of misplaced pride and bitterness by Tony Christie that make this his finest moment.
Happy Mondays – Kinky Afro
Son, I'm thirty. I only went with your mother cos she's dirty
A great bit of sleazy poetry from Shaun Ryder. Almost makes Tony Wilson's over-excited hyperbole about his lyrics seem justified.
The Stooges – Search and Destroy
I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
Given how Iggy Pop looks now, we're pretty sure this lyric isn't actually metaphorical.
Afghan Whigs – Be Sweet
Ladies, let me tell you about myself. I've got a dick for a brain, and my brain is gonna sell my ass to you.
Come on Greg, don't be so coy- tell us what you really mean.
Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
I like big butts and I can not lie
Is it just big butts that Sir Mix-A-Lot can't lie about or is he unable to speak dishonestly on any subject at all? As you can see this lyric works on various levels. It's a good job he sets his stall out so early since after that first line, neither the video or song really revisits the whole big butt issue.
No doubt you think our choices are rubbish. What would you have chosen? Please let us know, although bear in mind you have the pathetic comments section whereas we have the massive upper blogspace. Just be grateful that we care what you think at all.
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