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lunes, 30 de enero de 2012
Fancy Joining Us in San Diego? – Think Tank 2010
Last year I travelled loads and did more conferences than I care to remember (I was out of the country for over 3 months in total). This year, I've been a lot more choosy about which which events I've attended based on the benefit (and enjoyment) I'd get from them.
So far I've done both Think Visibilities, Dom sure knows how to organise awesome events (Jason wrote a cool review about it here, I should do the same but I'll outsource his instead). And in the summer my daughter and I went to the Existem AM Summer BBQ.
Out of these 3 events I didn't attend a single complete session! The reason for this is I use events and conferences to network, form relationships and learn and share knowledge with like minded people (your learn a lot more from folk in the after hours than you ever will in a conference session).
So the reason for this post is that next event I'm off to (and likely my last one of the year), is Think Tank in Del Mar, San Diego. This is, and will be my third Think Tank, which I hope shows how important I feel it is. Cost of entry is high at $3,000 for 3 days but every attendee I've known has made that back and often many fold over.
I've chatted with Doctor David Klein (aka DK) who organises it and we both feel it would benefit from more than one Brit in attendance (I get lonely and home sick), so even tho it's sold out (think it sold out in the first week it was announced) a few more folk from this side of the pond are welcome. DK has offered an amazing discount to compensate for the cost of having to travel across the pond (he's asked me not to say how much it is publicly but it's awesome).
This is an invitation only event so you will need to know me either on or offline as I'll have to vouch for you. I'm gaining nothing out of promoting this other than hopefully having a fellow countryman to share an awesome experience with. Leave a comment below or drop me a message if interested and I'll do the introductions.
I could explain what Think Tank is all about but if you're serious about it I'm sure Google will do a better job 
Blender makes movies cheaper
I recently had one of those eye opening web surfing sessions where I find lots of new awesome stuff to explore. I was checking up on the progress of Raspberry Pi, itself a very exciting project to make and sell an ARM-based PC board for $35. They say:
We want to see cheap, accessible, programmable computers everywhere; we actively encourage other companies to clone what we're doing. We want to break the paradigm where without spending hundreds of pounds on a PC, families can't use the internet. We want owning a truly personal computer to be normal for children. We think that 2012 is going to be a very exciting year.
I saw a video of a demo of Raspberry Pi running XMBC, which is open source media centre software designed to run on a PC connected to your TV and display all your photos and videos and play your music. During the demo, a movie is played and I happened to catch the title "Peach Open Movie Project", which caught my attention.
It turns out that this is a short animated film made by the Blender Institute. Blender is open source computer animation and 3D design software. The Blender Institute in Amsterdam funds Blender related projects. For the past few years they have been making a short film each year. Peach was the codename for what became Big Buck Bunny. The film is completely open, Creative Commons licensed, and you can buy the DVD with all the assets, 3D models, scripts and tutorial videos showing you how to do all this stuff yourself. It strikes me that if you are a motivated teenager who wants to get into 3D animation your life is vastly better than it would have been 5 years ago in terms of the wealth of information available to you.
So far there are three Blender Institute movies and a computer game. My favourite is Sintel, a bittersweet fantasy about a girl and her dragon. Currently the Blender people are working on a fourth movie: project Mango. This is a "VFX-based" movie, which I take to mean real actors and filmography composited with 3D computer graphics. Blender can do camera and object tracking, so you get things like digital makeup and augmented reality. One of the main aims of these projects is to improve the Blender software, so at the end of each one, Blender is better; the free tools for making movies are better.
One of the guys working on project Mango is Ian Hubert who makes the sort of SF art that I love. He made a short film called Dynamo in his spare time, and is working on another independent, no budget movie called Project London that is made by compositing 3D digital elements onto live action. His showreel is particularly impressive.
If you look at the quality of these projects as compared to a big Hollywood movie like Avatar you will find that the gap is not so wide; certainly it is less wide than the same gap measured a few years ago. All this is being done using freely available tools that are getting better all the time. These tools and these projects may be offshoots of commercial projects or spare time projects, but now they exist the next iteration of artwork done with them will be better. We are all richer as a result and none of this is going away. It is one small aspect of economic growth that is very visible.
It is possible to get a sense of a what a lot more growth would bring: an economy where the essentials are cheap enough to leave us with even more time to work on projects like these; whether making movies or developing circuit boards or designs to be 3D printed.
Now consider this comment left on Eric Raymond's post about SOPA. Shenpen is talking about the problem of software and movie piracy and how the business models are flawed. The problem, he says, is that music is not scarce.
So the long-term answer is much more simple: selling non-scarce things is going to be stop being a for-profit business in any form whatsoever.Take music. There will be no profits. There will be no music industry. And most musicians will not be able to make a living out of it. It will stop being a viable business model and a way to make a living altogether. Sure, some musicians will make a living out of fundraisings, advertisements and live performances, but it no longer will be a reliable way to make a living.
Is it wrong – how? The profit motive is great for a lot of things and not so great for a lot of other things. Some things – like sex – are best given for free. Take away the commercial motive and what you get is a lot better music. Sure, musicians will often have to work a day job and thus have less energy to invest in making music. This will reduce quantity – so what? As for quality, I think that will counterweighted by that then they won't invest their energy into making plastic crap but genuinely good stuff, stuff they themselves would want to listen to, stuf they want to remembered for. When money gets out of the picture, artists often discover they have better tastes than formerly thought.
Why do we have to limit our imagination to the way these things are being done now? Record sales, movie sales etc. did not exist 150 years ago, why should they exist in 50 years from now? Time for some innovation.
This kind of innovation is just what we are seeing. Anyone can make a feature film or record an album and put it on the Internet. As the tools improve, so does the quality of the work done. It would be nice to make a living out of movies and music, but if the cost of living is low enough, and with freely available tools, high quality movies and music will be made even if it is not possible.
domingo, 29 de enero de 2012
Dumpster diving in the name of "security"
The Samizdata people are a bunch of sinister and heavily armed globalist illuminati who seek to infect the entire world with the values of personal liberty and several property. Amongst our many crimes is a sense of humour and the intermittent use of British spelling.
We are also a varied group made up of social individualists, classical liberals, whigs, libertarians, extropians, futurists, 'Porcupines', Karl Popper fetishists, recovering neo-conservatives, crazed Ayn Rand worshipers, over-caffeinated Virginia Postrel devotees, witty Frédéric Bastiat wannabes, cypherpunks, minarchists, kritarchists and wild-eyed anarcho-capitalists from Britain, North America, Australia and Europe.
The Samizdatistas are:
EditorsPrincipal contributors
Contributors
Resting Contributors
Samizdata.net editors are God and God moves in mysterious ways. If you have an article, comment, rant or smart-arse rejoinder that you would like to contribute to Samizdata.net, e-mail it to us and we might publish it suitably edited. Or not.
Alternative Samizdata Quote of the Day
The Samizdata people are a bunch of sinister and heavily armed globalist illuminati who seek to infect the entire world with the values of personal liberty and several property. Amongst our many crimes is a sense of humour and the intermittent use of British spelling.
We are also a varied group made up of social individualists, classical liberals, whigs, libertarians, extropians, futurists, 'Porcupines', Karl Popper fetishists, recovering neo-conservatives, crazed Ayn Rand worshipers, over-caffeinated Virginia Postrel devotees, witty Frédéric Bastiat wannabes, cypherpunks, minarchists, kritarchists and wild-eyed anarcho-capitalists from Britain, North America, Australia and Europe.
The Samizdatistas are:
EditorsPrincipal contributors
Contributors
Resting Contributors
Samizdata.net editors are God and God moves in mysterious ways. If you have an article, comment, rant or smart-arse rejoinder that you would like to contribute to Samizdata.net, e-mail it to us and we might publish it suitably edited. Or not.
A nice burst of sanity from the Anglican Church
Some Christians I know or read about claim to be concerned about the long-term health of society and the future welfare of generations yet unborn, as well as the current one, and yet all too many of the senior figures in the Church of England, say, make asses of themselves by unthinking repetition of Big Government thinking. Case in point being the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams.
It is, therefore, a pleasant break from the norm to read this, from Dr Williams' predecessor, George Carey:
"The sheer scale of our public debt - which hit £1tn yesterday - is the greatest moral scandal facing Britain today. If we can't get the deficit under control and begin paying back this debt, we will be mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren."
(H/T, Suboptimal Planet: a new blog that I thoroughly recommend).
On the subject of the UK's debt problems, Martin Durkin, the documentary maker, put together a programme for Channel 4 a while ago which is well worth viewing, with comments from the likes of Allister Heath, Mark Littlewood, Kevin Dowd, James Bartholomew, Nigel Lawson, Geoffrey Howe and, for some light relief, Brendan Barber of the TUC (Trades Union Congress).
Nintendo's Wii U controller will have special NFC powers
A lot of exciting Nintendo news has been revealed this week, as well as giving us all some of the details about the Nintendo Network online community features, Nintendo President Satoru Iwata confirmed new capabilities were being added to the tablet-like controller of the upcoming Wii U console.
At the top of the list of these new and advanced features is NFC (or Near Field Communication) technology, the kind of standard we're used to seeing in many new smart phones (like Blackberry) and in London's Oyster Card transport payment system. Basically, allows the transfer of information just by putting two NFC-enabled devices close to each other, so it's being used as a way to share information, pay for stuff and enhance entertainment experiences.
Satoru Iwata said:
"By installing this functionality, it will become possible to create cards and figurines that can electronically read and write data via noncontact NFC and to expand the new play format in the video game world.
"Adoption of this functionality will enable various other possibilities such as using it as a means of making micropayments."
As of yet no date has been placed on the release of the Wii U, Nintendo yesterday revealed that they are on track for a Q4 2012 (October-December) release date, but we'll keep you posted.
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
RUMOUR: Will Apple finally release the iPhone 5 this summer?
We were all secretly hoping for it to be revealed last year, but could it really be that the iPhone 5 is set to launch this summer? We have no idea at all, but there's an interesting new iPhone-related rumour doing the rounds this week that's believed to have originated from a Foxconn manufacturing plant employee.
The employee has revealed that his company has begun production of new Apple goods that will be added to the next iPhone 5 handset. Given the 6-month production schedule given the iPhone 4S from April 2011 to October 2011, that would put the new handset on track for a June/July 2012 launch.
There have also been claims that four possible handset designs are in the running, each slightly different, but all boasting a display of at least 4 inches in size. None are said to look like the iPhone 4 or 4S, which have shared a design over the past two generations of Apple smart phones.
However, if there's no finalised handset in place, how can the plant be preparing to produce it? It's an exciting rumour we secretly hope is true, but unfortunately seems a little too unsubstantiated right now...
[Via Tech Digest Via 9to5 Mac]
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
A Newsdump for 27 January 2012: From Azealia singing '212' to Kylie possibly back on a giant shoe
A video surfaced online yesterday of demure rapper Azealia Banks singing '212' for Karl Lagerfeld and friends. (YouTube) Most guests seem quite uncomfortable, except for one gentleman having the time of his life near the front.
In 'hold the home page' news, Rizzle Kicks have confirmed they will (that's: WILL) be joining Olly Murs on stage for a performance of 'Heart Skips A Beat' at the Brits next month. (Capital FM)
Rumours are spreading that Britney Spears and Shakira are recording a duet together (AMAZING), 'helmed' by will.i.am (HMMMM). (411mania)
Justin Bieber sang a brief, acapella version of 'Rockin' Robin' at the Michael Jackson handprint ceremony outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre yesterday. (Ace Showbiz) It's not very good, to be honest.
Jessie J has recorded a jingle for (and is therefore quite liderally 'down with the') crumpets, but doesn't want to put it online in case someone 'teefs' it. (Twitlonger)
Taylor Swift has been nominated for three Country Music Awards, and is the only female up for Entertainer Of The Year. (The Wall Street Journal)
Custodian Of All Pop Music will.i.am has confirmed that apologetic party plonkers LMFAO will be joining Madonna at the Super Bowl next month. (Billboard) Well done everybody.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z have apparently chosen Oprah Winfrey to be Blue Ivy's godmother. (Sydney Herald)
And finally, Kylie Minogue will be performing at Australia's Mardi Gras festival on March 3, where she will be honoured with the largest float (trans: truck with some crepe paper on it) in the show's history. (Australia Times)
THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.
How do you find new clients when starting a design business?
I've just put pen to paper on a new contract with publisher Peachpit. This book will focus on the business of design, answering the most frequently asked questions about starting and running a successful design business. The copy deadline is October, so the release-date should be just before the end of the year.
Many of you will run your own studio, be in self-employment, or freelance in your spare time. I'd love to share your experiences in the book, and for now, there's one topic I'm particularly interested in:
How do you find new clients when starting a design business?
Alternatively, perhaps your approach didn't work and taught you a valuable lesson.
Thanks to your incredible support, my first book is in eight languages, and I hope to double that with this attempt. So if you have a specific story you want to share with the world, it'd be superb if you get in touch.
World times image credit
Related posts on David Airey dot com
A Newsdump for 26 January 2012: From 1D's shameless publicity to Beyonce being taught at university
One Direction have made a video of themselves 'getting into shape' so they'll be able to lift their Brit awards with relative ease should they win Best British Single. (The Sun) 'Hilarious' stuff, lads.
Nicola Roberts and Rihanna are collaborating on a TV talent show to find an aspiring fashion designer. Executive producer Rihanna "hand-picked" Nicola to present the ten-part series, and the winner will get to design Rihanna's outfit for her Wireless performance in July. (Sky Living)
Florence & The Machine have managed to avoid any potential racist overtones in their latest video by making it an authentic concert performance of 'Lover To Lover'. (YouTube)
The Wanted seem to be having a good time in America, but have played down expectations for their live shows. (MTV) "Don't go expecting the perfect, polished, most beautiful set of things ever," notes Jay. "We sing our heads off and it gets sweaty".
They're gonna marinate the night: Lady Gaga's parents' Italian eatery is now officially open for business. (Billboard)
Out of all the Madonna Super Bowl rumours that have been flying around, the possibility of Cee-Lo Green taking the stage with her does seem the most likely. (Ace Showbiz)
Ke$ha recently saw a used tampon on a beach in LA, which made her realise how much she'd missed the place. (Twitter) Thanks for that, Ke$ha.
Little Mix sang 'Don't Let Go' at The National Television Awards last night. (Daily Mail) Scroll down to see Jade ruining a nice Little-Mix-Tulisa-reunion-photo with her grumpy face.
And finally, New Jersey's Rutgers University is offering a course called Politicizing Beyoncé, where the performer's "music and career are used as lenses to explore American race, gender, and sexual politics". (Pop Crush) The university has warned that if the students misplace their preliminary course guide there will be no replacement, but have suggested that if they like they can put it in a ring binder.
THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.
Would you like to listen to Marcus Collins doing 'Seven Nation Army'?
Latest stories
» Sound the 'electro pop with intimacy and melancholy' eurosiren
» We weren't joking about that Marcus Collins single
» A Newsdump for 27 January 2012: From Azealia singing '212' to Kylie possibly back on a giant shoe
» A Newsdump for 26 January 2012: From 1D's shameless publicity to Beyonce being taught at university
» Would you like to listen to Marcus Collins doing 'Seven Nation Army'?
» A Newsdump for 25 January 2012: From Leonas album out in November to Lana posing with an umbrella
» A Newsdump for 24 January 2012: From Miley covering Dylan to Madonna's dreams of Oscar winnin(g)
» So what's happening in Ladyhawke's 'Black White & Blue' video?
» A note to Alternative Music Scribes having trouble with Lana Del Rey
» A Newsdump for 23 January 2012: From Emeli on a breakfast show to Nickis video for 'Stupid Hoe'
» And everything went from right to right (with a bit of wrong along the way to be fair)
» Ladies and gentlemen, 2012's most joy-free LOLpop 'anthem' has arrived
» "It's harder to do something simple than it is to do something complicated."
We weren't joking about that Marcus Collins single
Latest stories
» Sound the 'electro pop with intimacy and melancholy' eurosiren
» We weren't joking about that Marcus Collins single
» A Newsdump for 27 January 2012: From Azealia singing '212' to Kylie possibly back on a giant shoe
» A Newsdump for 26 January 2012: From 1D's shameless publicity to Beyonce being taught at university
» Would you like to listen to Marcus Collins doing 'Seven Nation Army'?
» A Newsdump for 25 January 2012: From Leonas album out in November to Lana posing with an umbrella
» A Newsdump for 24 January 2012: From Miley covering Dylan to Madonna's dreams of Oscar winnin(g)
» So what's happening in Ladyhawke's 'Black White & Blue' video?
» A note to Alternative Music Scribes having trouble with Lana Del Rey
» A Newsdump for 23 January 2012: From Emeli on a breakfast show to Nickis video for 'Stupid Hoe'
» And everything went from right to right (with a bit of wrong along the way to be fair)
» Ladies and gentlemen, 2012's most joy-free LOLpop 'anthem' has arrived
» "It's harder to do something simple than it is to do something complicated."
A Newsdump for 25 January 2012: From Leona’s album out in November to Lana posing with an umbrella
Global Songstress Leona Lewis' latest opus 'Glassheart' has had its March release date pushed back until November 26. (That Grape Juice) At least that's one Christmas present sorted out already, right?
will.i.am has been complaining about his Wikipedia page, saying that "they are so wrong on so many things...like my name, where I'm born, album release info, nick names #wrong". (Twitter) If only there was some way will.i.am could somehow alter this information. It is a shame Wikipedia entries are so set in stone, really.
An advert for Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' album has been cleared of being overtly sexual by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), after a solitary viewer complained that it might upset some children. (Daily Mirror) The ASA state that her belly rubbing is "simply a part of the dance routine".
'MJB Da MVP' hitmaker Mary J. Blige is upset that her song 'The Living Proof' from The Help hasn't been nominated for Best Original Song at the Oscars. (Billboard) "It saddens me & feels like the Academy is being mean", she glumly wrote. We're still fucked off that Sean Kingston's Inbetweeners-featured cultural milestone 'Party All Night (Sleep All Day)' wasn't eligible.
Here is a generous 40 second preview of Kelly Rowland's new video for 'Keep It Between Us'. Nothing really happens, but there are some nice shots of the Eiffel Tower. (Idolator)
It's the comeback we've all been waiting for: PJ & Duncan might be performing at The National Television Awards tonight. (The Sun) Er, excuse us, 'The Sun': "short lived" pop career? Three albums and a Greatest Hits is not "short-lived".
If you haven't yet heard the triple threat of Flo Rida, LMFAO and T-Pain together on 'Run To You', you can listen here. (Music Remedy) Our advice: don't listen there.
JLS have been chatting about their Ed Sheeran collaboration plans, saying it's going to be "magical" ("fucking boring"). (MTV)
And finally, Authentic Chanteuse Lana Del Rey has 'done a Rihanna', and posed with an umbrella for the latest cover of Complex. (Complex) Is it just us or is the brolly not doing a very good job of keeping her dry? "Oh sorry gents my garments appear to be moist and clinging to my breasts, please don't look etc etc etc."
THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.
Sound the 'electro pop with intimacy and melancholy' eurosiren
If you ever want to make yourself APOPLEPTIC WITH RAGE, have a look at what other countries get up to in the run-up to Eurovision, how many great people want to represent their country when they know their country will take their efforts seriously, and how much great music comes out of it as a result.
Today's Song Of The Day is 'You And I' by Minnie-Oh. It's one of various songs 'battling it out' tomorrow night in the second of Norway's three Melodi Grand Prix semi finals, ahead of the final on February 11.
Minnie-Oh's 'people' sent over some blurb about who she is. It makes her sound quite exciting.
"She makes electro pop with intimacy and melancholy, and a flair for pop melodies that stick to memory. It creates a soundscape that is guaranteed to be danced to, and honest lyrics that are easy to recognize themselves in. The music may have references to artists such as Junior Boys, New Order, Yelle and Robyn, but Minnie-Oh is inspired by everything from Sufjan Stevens to Britney Spears.
With previous projects, Johansen toured in Norway, Germany and Canada and played festivals such as Norwegian Wood, Canadian Music Week, Pop Montreal and by:Larm. In 2009, she released her debut album "Champagne, Caviar and Me." as Miss Harmonica. She has shared the stage with artists like La Roux, Rye Rye & MIA, Familjen, Little Dragon, Oh No Ono, Of Montreal, Bunny Rabbit and The Whip to name a few, and constantly impresses with her presence and strong stage performances. These days, the song "Princess" from her debut album can be heard in the popular Canadian youth series "Debra".
Johansen is known to think holistically in everything from music, image and promotion, and she is working closely with different designers in everything from graphic design to fashion design.
She is a well-known fashionista in the Norwegian fashion industry and also runs her own vintage shop, Flashdance, where she collaborates and work as a stylist for other artists and actors. This whole can also be seen in the stage shows in terms of visuals, lasers and spectacular outfits."
So we're looking forward to seeing her performance tomorrow night.But - and this is the bit where you'll get really angry, particularly when you take into account that there was another bunch of comparable songs last week and there'll be another load next week - some of the other songs in tomorrow night's semi are really good too.
Here's Minnie-Oh's competition.
Cocktail Slippers - 'Keeps On Dancing'
This sounds a bit like Frank-meets-Girls-Aloud-era-Xenomania but not as good but still worth a listen.
Isabel Ødegård
- 'I've Got You'
Hopefully we can all agree that this is the greatest song Emma Bunton never recorded.
Tommy Fredvang - 'Make It Better'
When extended metaphors go wrong: Tommy's love is a highly contagious infection, he can't make it better. If this was 7% better it would have been a great surprise upbeat number on the recent Westlife greatest hits.
Rikke Lie - 'Another Heartache'
Very pleasant indeed.
Plumbo - 'Ola Nordmann'
Imagine if Matt Cardle's first single had sounded like this. Imagine if his label had FORCED him to release this. In fact, even better, imagine if after all that bluster about 'writing my own stuff' and 'following my own path', THIS was what he wrote. Imagine that meeting at the label. "HEY EVERYONE YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN IN THE STUDIO FOR A MONTH WORKING ON MY ALBUM? WELL ACTUALLY I'VE ONLY DONE ONE SONG AND HERE IT IS." Amazing. "PS: I'M CHANGING MY NAME TO PLUMBO." Double amazing. (Well not amazing in any sense at all but you know what we mean.)
Malin - 'Crush'
"My heart beats 1-2-3, HELLO!!!!" Incredible. If Minnie-Oh comes second to anything, we'd be happy for it to be this. This might actually be better than Minnie-Oh. It's definitely extremely good, in a completely deranged 'this person would be quite hard work to live with' way.
Rikke Normann - 'Shapeshifter'
This sounds a bit like a Saturdays album track. We're not sure but we think that's a good thing. It changes week to week.
If you are in Norway, please use your vote very wisely indeed. (Is it a public vote? We're presuming it is. World class music journalism at its very best here readers.)
sábado, 28 de enero de 2012
Stitchtagram's Instagram pillows: More stuff you don't need
We love Instagram here at Shiny Shiny, we love writing about it, talking about it and sharing our silly snaps with our followers. But how far is too far when it comes to Instagram merchandise? Well, we think decorating your house with retro shots of food is about as much as we can take.
New service Stitchtagram (see what they did there?!) makes custom handmade cushions from your cheesy Instagram snaps. You get to pick which ones are used with the company's handy layout tool and then they're printed at Stitchtagram HQ in the US.
Yeah, it sounds OK in theory and there's all kinds of merchandise you can have your photos printed onto already, like mugs, stickers, iPhone cases and other things you're highly likely never to use. But, there's just something about Instagram pillows that seems a little OTT. Maybe if you're really talented when it comes to mobile snaps and your the results look fairly professional you could get away with photographic furnishings, but until then no one wants to visit a house with grainy shots of cats, food and quirky street grafitti dotted around. Do they?!
If you think your life wouldn't be complete without carefully selected Instagram shots on soft furnishings then check out Stitchtagram.
[Image via Stitchtagram]
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
Google: Who does the search engine think YOU are?
Over the past few days you may have seen a few people tweet random stuff about who Google thinks they are "It thinks I'm a man!", "It thinks I like cats!" or "It thinks I'm 70!". Don't worry, Google hasn't suddenly taken human form and started hurling abuse at your mates, instead they've accessed the profile that Google has made of all of its account holders.
It may all sound very Big Brother, but Google basically takes a look at what you're browsing online and then makes up a profile about you so it can give you the most targeted advertising in the future.
It then builds up a list of all the topics you're into and (often hilariously) your age and gender based on other people that look at similar sites.
The profile page is hidden away in the depths of Google in Ad Preferences and unless you're into advertising and have gone looking for that kind of information in the past, you'd never have known it was there.
Go check out who Google thinks you are, I'm apparently 35-44 (I'm 25) and male (I'm female). My categories are a little more accurate, with gadgets, fitness and headphones coming up top, but hip-hop, DJ equipment and vehicle wheels are things I'd happily go for the rest of my life without.
Let us know how correct (or how very very incorrect) your profile is...
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
Is Justin Bieber Harvesting The Organs Of Children?
There's always been something incredibly sinister about Justin Bieber. Anyone who is paraded around like a prepubescent monkey eunuch should fill any right-minded person with the dread of a thousand bailiffs.
The very fact no-one seems to mind a performing menstrual period is of great concern, especially given that Bieber is clearly using his power for unspeakable evil.
Like what? Well, at the wave of his nailless foetal hand, it appears that the world's young are donating their organs. Oooh, the horror!
Bieber is getting credit for a recent spike in organ donor registrations. Some dweebs called The Trillium Gift of Life Network have noted that, since JB answered a plea made by Helene Campbell, who's awaiting for a lung transplant, more than 1,200 people have registered online for donation.
Bieber's Twitter exchange with Campbell (username @alungstory) started off with the usual annoying charitable plea from a pleb to a sleb, before Justin took the sob story on and shared it with his trillion followers.
He then started tweeting about how people really should donate their organs.
However, no-one is that altruistic and we suspect that Bieber is using the organs for himself, after his young fans presumably donated them while they were still alive, cutting out their kidneys and such with Hello Kitty safety scissors and plopping them through his letter box.
And if our thoughts that Bieber is actually an illuminati goon are true, then we can only assume that he's using the organs for nefarious purposes.
If indeed, Bieber is an illuminati lookalike, then there's a chance that the singer is actually in his 40s and is gorging on tween organs in a bid to stay youthful. We have all noticed that he's looking older than he used to and this fiendish scheme is clearly not working.
Spread the word. There's a new devil among us.
Who Wants To See Some Slot Cars Going At 100mph? [Video]
Everyone has a soft spot for Scaletrix and slot car racing. There's something incredibly satisfying about watching little cars veer off the track at the squeeze of a trigger. No, not in a JFK way you monster!
The dream, as a kid, is to make bigger, fancier tracks with increasingly faster cars.
Well, a group of brilliantly nerdy old men from Finland have made that dream a reality, with slot cars that go at 100mph. The video that accompanies this article is brain-frying.
That's right.
Some blokes have decided to make mega-fast overlord slot-racers that travel so quickly along a giganto track that your eyes will probably fall out of your head in your attempts to keep up.
Imagine actually being trackside.
You'd invariably puke into your hand with inertia. That, of course, is one of the finest pasttimes there is.
Anyway, no more waffle. What the little cars travelling at ludicrous speeds. Feel free to do the calculations and scale the cars to full size in your mind, and work out how fast they'd be travelling in the real world.
BROOM!
The Porn Stick Detection Pro finds all of your dirty little secrets
We've heard of creepy 'porn detection' software and devices before, but now a new gadget called the Porn Stick Detection Pro will snoop around in the dark depths of your computer and uncover any kinds of pornographic images or videos that it deems to be a little too inappropriate.
It may look like a regular flash drive (aside from the fact it's got 'porn' written on it in caps of course), but it uses advanced software and algorithms to work out what's a bit too adult and what isn't. Whether it actually works is another question, but according to its manufacturers it will be able to thoroughly look through all kinds of video files, like MOV,MP4, MPEG1 - MPEG4, DV, Ogg, Real, ASF, AVI, SWF, FLV and pretty much every image file you could imagine. It'll look everywhere too, it can search all your different drives, the browser cache and deleted folders.
What worries is us why people are using it, as the website stresses that it "works covertly". Some of the top ways it's suggested that people can put the gadget to good use are to monitor what their family are doing online, find out if their other half has a porn addiction (what a trusting and mature way to go about it), check that their employees aren't doing anything naughty in company time, or just find out if they've accidentally (yeah, right) downloaded anything dodgy in the past. Oh, and one funny commenter suggested he could use it to find all of his porn and put it in one safe place. Ahh, there's always one.
Whether it works in practice and weeds out everything pornographic on a computer remains to be seen, but is it good this gadget exists so parents can keep an eye on what their kids are looking at? Or is it a creepy spying device that's all a little too Ninteen Eighty-Four for your liking?
If you're less freaked out and more excited at the thought of playing a fake detective, then you can get hold of a Porn Stick Detection Pro from Gadgets and Gear for $99.
[Via Chip Chick]
FBI plans to monitor activity on social networks
It really comes as no surprise that the FBI is looking to monitor social networks even more closely than it (presumably) already does. However, up until now there's been no official evidence as to what its online activities are, other than being wary of Second Life of course. Well, until now.
According to New Scientist, earlier this month a document was released that revealed the FBI is on the lookout for companies who would be willing to build an advanced social media monitoring system. From the document it seems that the FBI hopes to be able to automatically search for any material on social media sites that mentions specific keywords relating to terrorism and FBI operations.
The FBI then wants to be able to display this kind of information onto a map, to get a better understanding of where problems are breaking out and find out straight away where the nearest US embassies and military installations are.
As the main aim is to monitor what's being said, the FBI is hoping to locate and get a grip of crises as they're happening, but there's also a large focus on predicting problems before they occur, which makes us think back to the supposed online planning that went on before the riots here in London.
Other than details from the document there's been no official word from the FBI about its social media plans and monitoring ideas moving forward. The thing that we're most interested to see is whether the bureau will be given any access to private updates and posts on the likes of Facebook and Twitter, even though we doubt that social networks would cave to the FBI's demands it could be something that shifts in the future. On the one hand it may seem intrusive, but if global security is threatened would you really mind if someone was peering at your private Facebook updates about nights out now and again?
[Via New Scientist]
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Win! A Timex Health Tracker watch
A new year usually starts with great intentions of watching your calories, changing to healthier diet and exercising more. Yet for many those resolutions are shelved by the time February comes around as you just didn't have the right tools to keep you motivated. This is where the Timex Health Tracker comes into the picture.
Aimed at women with hectic lifestyles the Timex Health Tracker has a built-in walk sensor that automatically records distance, steps taken and calories burned. It also lets you record calories consumed in a diet diary and allows you to create custom fitness goals and track your progress to keep motivated. And as it sits on your wrist, you can easily review your stats whenever and wherever with just a few clicks!
We've been testing the Health Tracker for a week and have found it does really help with motivation. Working as a little nudge each time we look at our wrist, being able to easily record calories and check how many steps we've taken at any time is definitely a bonus. Now there is no need to remember to bring that notebook or recall what you've eaten throughout the day when you sit down in the evening to log it online.
The Health Tracker is available in three colours; purple, grey and black for £59.99 from www.timex.co.uk/wellness.
Win a Timex Health Tracker
To help you take your first steps towards a healthier you, we have teamed up with Timex to give one of our readers the chance to win a Timex Health Tracker.
To enter simply Like Connected Health Store on Facebook and leave a comment on our Wall saying where you like to walk and why.
The winner will be picked at random and will be announced on Facebook. The competition closes on Thursday 2nd February 2012.
While you are at Connected Health don't forget to check out the latest news on health and fitness gadgets.
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
Android powered i'm watch: the ultimate geek chic accessory of the future?
There have been rumours circulating about the innovative Android-powered watch designs from i'm watch since last summer. But, at CES earlier in the month they were officially unveiled to the world and even those sceptical about a slick smart phone / watch hybrid have been left pretty impressed.
Dubbed "the world's first smart watch", these innovative gadgets from Italian-based company i'm watch merge the functionality of a smart phone into the design of a colourful little wrist watch. So, it's certainly not just about telling the time. The watches, which run on a custom Android OS, allow users to answer calls, send texts, read emails, check social networks, download apps and listen to music all from the 1.5" colour screen. Wow, that's one multi-talented little watch. It also looks good (yet obviously a little geeky) too, with a choice of bright colours and a slim, streamlined design.
It may sound a little OTT, but the team assures us all it's simple and intuitive to use, as it's got the same interface you'd expect to see on a smart phone or a tablet, allowing you to pinch, zoom and swipe your way around.
If you fancy getting your hands on an i'm watch there are a number of different ranges to choose from the bright i'm Color, which is the most basic model priced at €249, to the more luxury style of the i'm Jewel for €1099.
We get that the designs are clever, the watches work incredibly well and the company has a lot of good ideas, but do we want or need to be able to answer calls, play with apps and control the world all from our wrists?! Won't it look a bit awkward to be sat there pawing your own arm? Then again, just because something feels strange at first doesn't mean it won't catch on in a big way in the future.
If you're interested in what i'm watch is up to at the moment, check out the company's about page. The team have a pretty exciting vision for the future and lots of interesting plans in the pipeline...
Into fitness and health gadgets? Check out our new site, Connected Health
Paris Jackson And Justin Bieber To Shag With Unswerving Predictability
When Michael Jackson was alive (he's very much dead these days), he ended up getting married to Lisa Marie Presley. It was weird. The King Of Pop shacking up with The King Of Rock 'n' Roll's daughter. Mixing pop royalty like that… it's incestuous and odd.
And guess what is going to happen?
That's right, with a little bit of history repeating itself, Michael's daughter – Paris Jackson – is giving the sex-eye to pop midget, Justin Bieber. You can just imagine the people behind both of these veritable toddlers advising them about how good a relationship with each other would be for their careers. Blecch!
It appears that Paris is not able to resist the juggernaut charm of Bieber, after she introduced him at her father's tribute show in Hollywood.
It is reported that she 'nearly melted in the process'. Much like her father's face then? Nice that someone should carry on the noble family tradition.
In her intro, Paris said:
"We are all very big fans of [Justin] and his music" — and then, with a coy smile, she added, "I know I am."
Then, Justin appeared to thunderous screams (again, much like the screams Michael would be greeted by when he found himself dazed and drugged and wandering around a playground without his special Bad trousers on) and rattled through a version of 'Rockin' Robin', which MJ covered back in '72.
Sadly, now Bieber has covered the song, it has rendered it unlistenable forever more.
Either way, keep an eye out for a gut-wrenching break-up between Bieber and Selena Gomez as he cruelly tosses her aside for a more famous, more bizarre Jackson sprog.
Good news is, is that this could get very, very ugly indeed. She's the one with a tea-towel on her head, right?
Twitter to censor users' tweets: What does this mean?
Ever since it was first launched back in 2006 (THAT long ago!?) Twitter has been open and free for all of its users, regardless of of any issues of censorship or local problems in their home countries.
Well this week Twitter has announced that in the future that may no longer be the case, and if the micro-blogging platform is required by law to censor tweets, it will. Although it claims this will be on a country-by-country basis, many have been suggesting that those living in Europe and the US are likely to be most affected.
Here's the official explanation from the Twitter blog:
"As we continue to grow internationally, we will enter countries that have different ideas about the contours of freedom of expression. Some differ so much from our ideas that we will not be able to exist there. Others are similar but, for historical or cultural reasons, restrict certain types of content, such as France or Germany, which ban pro-Nazi content.
"Until now, the only way we could take account of those countries' limits was to remove content globally. Starting today, we give ourselves the ability to reactively withhold content from users in a specific country -- while keeping it available in the rest of the world. We have also built in a way to communicate transparently to users when content is withheld."
In many ways this shouldn't (don't hold us to that) affect most users and the blog post does go on to say that if your tweet has been censored you'll be alerted straight away and hopefully told what caused the issue (and hopefully why). Twitter also assures us all that it's working closely with a blog monitoring company, which specialises in online censorship, so you'd hope only the most problematic tweets will be weeded out.
It may seem scary to think our tweets could be censored in the future and Twitter is likely to face a lot of criticism in coming weeks. However, you only have to look at recent super-injunctions in the UK to learn that in actual fact there are many things we can't talk about in the street on a daily basis, so should we really be able to openly talk about those issues online?
The problem lies in the fact that there's a very fine line between restricting people from talking about serious issues that have legal implications and censoring things just because it's now possible. Let's hope Twitter works closely with each country as it promises and they all figure out where that line is.
[Image via Yoshiffles]
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Lana Del Rey: Doesn’t Really Care About Music At All, But Expects You To
Years ago, a smarter scribe than this wrote of 'air-conditioner music', which is to say, music stopped putting something into a room and instead, started trying to remove it. And removing everything out of a room, apart from the earless saps who buy it, is Lana Del Rey, the most tepid popstar in history.
She's Dido, only NME approved.
And Lana doesn't really like music. Why should she? She's a spoiled little rich girl who doesn't have to worry about striving to make great art or towering pop. In fact, so insincere is Del Rey that she's constantly thinking about walking away from music. She simply can't be bothered.
See, the scoop is that Del Rey almost quit singing two years ago. That's because, for the first time in her life, she actually had to work hard for something. Multi-millionaire daddy couldn't magic pop-stardom up for her overnight.
SHE WANTED A GOLDEN GOOSE DADDY!
After some unsuccessful attempts to break into the industry under a variety of guises, Lana became so disillusioned, she thought about giving up and doing something else.
She said:
"I definitely thought, 'If it's gonna be this hard I'm not gonna be a singer and have nothing.' That would have bene fine, but it's only in the last two years that I started getting tired.
"In my mind I was always thinking about [quitting singing]. I stopped playing shows. I definitely didn't want to be a singer any more."
Just think. All those people out there, still striving, who can't function properly without music. Those brilliant oddballs who would have to toss a coin between air and music as most important. Lana Del Rey is not one of those. She thinks that music should lead to stardom, and stardom should be easy when you've got a privileged background and a face that everyone fancies.
Talking to the NME, she's noted further that she's not that bothered about music:
"In terms of being a pop star, it's not something I've thought about for a long time now, because it was so long ago that I started.
"Even though I've been singing and writing again for two years, I haven't been on the stage for 16 months. I don't have to be a singer at all, it's not the be all or end all anymore."
Of course, she expects you to continue your hoovering up of all her records and tickets. She might not care, but you have to.
Sorry. You made your bland, tasteless, tuneless bed. You must now lie in it.
George Clooney Desperately Jonesing For Olympic Freebies In Interviews
The good looking version of Herman Munster, George Clooney, has used his charm to get a lot of things in his life. If you believe the rumours, his charm has worked best on throwing people off the scent that he might be gay.
We've no idea if he's gay or not and don't rightly care. That's because he's a massive slag either way.
How so? Well, what happened to you when you found out you didn't get tickets for some stupid event at the London 2012 Olympics? You basically looked into your lap, dejectedly, and thought 'that's that then'. Clooney is a star though. He can slag it up in the media asking for a freebie.
See, George Clooney is desperate to attend this year's London Olympics. So much so that he's enthusing about the world's third biggest sports event (after The FIFA World Cup and Summer Slam) coming to the English capital as he loves visiting soooooo much. London's just wonderful, eh George! Best place on Earth eh?
Lying slag.
Alas, he's not been able to get any tickets, leaving him begging for some from The Sun:
"I think it's fantastic that the Olympics are coming to London. I think you should always try to take politics out of sport and the London bid did that."
"Track and field is something that I really want to come back and see if I can get some tickets. I'm a big fan of London. There are only a handful of great cities in the world and it's one of them."
Only an American tourist could ever call London a 'great city'.
He's obviously never been on a night bus with a drunk lunatic or had to endure actual London residence, with their inflated sense of worth and B.O. brought on by scurrying around the Tube like rodents.
Lindsay Lohan Ran A Woman Over And ‘Anguish’ Ensued! Hurray!
Aah! Lindsay Lohan is the perfect hecklerspray celebrity. She takes one-step forward, or one step back, and she's in trouble. It doesn't matter where she is, or who she's with – she's always on the brink of being in some kind of bother.
Now, after a couple of years of jewel thievery, alleged assault, drug and drink problems and hanging around morgues, LiLo is back in trouble! HUZZAH! We should thank our stars she hasn't found God and become a giganto-bore.
So what's she done this time? Well, it involves a woman called Nubia Del Carmen Preza, a high performance sports vehicle and a whole lotta anguish. Splendid.
Nubia, who has (thus far) the best name of 2012, is suing Lohan, claiming that she was hit by the actress' car during an incident in September 2010.
Nubia Del Carmen Preza (sorry, we just love saying her name) alleges she was struck by the Mean Girl's Maserati while innocently walking through a West Hollywood intersection. Preza's lawsuit states she has suffered "disabling and serious personal injuries, pain, suffering and anguish" and that she is seeking damages for all her medical expenses and lost time at work.
Alas, Lindsay is refusing to comment on the case. Not that we've tried to contact her. We're assuming other people have.
Of course, this isn't the only vehicular trouble Lindsay is facing. In what is one of the oddest celebrity lawsuits, some idiot paparazzi photographer called Grigor Baylan is taking legal action against Lohan after he was run over by her car, even though the actress wasn't even driving it.
Apparently (and this is according to the photographer's lawyer, Neil Steiner, who is as trustworthy as any other human who decides what's morally right based completely on payment), Lohan is being targeted because her assistant was at the wheel and operating under her instruction.
It's great to have you back Lindsay. If you wouldn't mind getting hooked on really lousy, cheap drugs this year, that'd be perfect.
Kate Moss Hates Twitter (Doesn’t Like Interacting With The Non-Famous)
Imagine being Kate Moss. What do you do with your life? You stand around in a variety of clothes, which people hang off your bony frame and generally lord it up like you have an actual talent other than your genetic make-up.
Despite a clear lack of anything worthwhile, other than being sufficiently bland enough not to distract people from the garments you're wearing, that still doesn't mean you can't act like a pompous, deserving buffoon.
And that's exactly what's happening as Kate Moss has revealed that she isn't keen on interacting with her admirers on Twitter. Basically, you plebs don't deserve her musings.
The supermodel would never sign up for a twitter account.
"I couldn't think of anything worse than people knowing what I'm doing all the time. I just don't understand it. I don't get it at all. Why would anybody want to know? I try to be the opposite, so people don't know anything that I'm doing. I don't want people to know anything!"
Perhaps people wouldn't want to know what you're getting up to. Maybe people would like to see what you're like beneath that hallow veneer? Maybe people would like to view you like you're an approachable human-being, rather than some odious twerp, forever hiding behind the velvet rope of stardom?
Apparently, this isn't the case though.
"Just to go into a shop without getting stared at would be nice. I mean, I don't walk around like, 'Oh, I'm famous' – I try to live as normal a life as possible – but sometimes it's a bit annoying. It's fine; it's not a massive problem, but sometimes it's just a bit uncomfortable"
"You can't be 'poor me' about it – it's not the worst thing in the world, but sometimes it's a bit uncomfortable."
With insight like that, perhaps we're all better off without Moss' twitter dribblings?
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