World events they're fun aren't they? Well no, not really, but hey at least you can now use IfIDie.net to record an 'in-case of my accidentally on purpose death please avenge me to the bitter end' video. Yes that a real thing now. Yes, it does seem like one of those fake adverts from Six Feet Under and yes it is the greatest use of video technology ever created.
We don't know why bands even try anymore. They can't even beat an advert for your own death. The 80's, that's what the music video was for, signifying an overabundance of crass ideologies, big hair, glittery outfits and the subjugation of women to the simple age when they were just 'things'.
Did we mention the hair because that's a pretty important part? Anyway, shall we look at the new releases?
Showing us all how not to do everything is the most boring non-member of Mumford and Sons Laura Marling.
She's still whacking her hands against that stringed up tissue box and spitting slowly dying cats out of her face. So, obviously you might want to watch this on mute wherein you will transcend yourself and become one of those people who cites Russian Ballet as a hobby.
You scumbags.
If you like dancing, which as a nation we seem to do, then you will find this video exciting. Conforming to the aforementioned law that one of the vital elements for the success of a music video is the objectification of women, the people doing the dancing are of course women and they are of course wearing some unflattering black underwear, but underwear nonetheless; besides it's black and we all know that means they want to have sex.
Probably with that snazzy man dancer who's getting all up in their pelvic thrusts. Laura Marling-1, Feminism-0.
The Arctic Monkeys have gone back into the studio. Anybody?
Oh yeah Richard Hawley is there just in case you forgot they were local lads who love local things. Yes, we get it. You're from Sheffield.
Breaking news coming in as we're writing! The original Sugababes seem closer than ever to reforming according to one ardent twitter fan and thousands of unassuming idiots. Try not to break a sweat chasing this one round the rumour mill it's only been a thousand years and a non-existent number of incarnations and counting.
Obviously you'll be the first to receive a staggering endorsement of their new video from us if this ever happens. Regular service resuming in 5… 4… 3…
Yay The Red Hot Chili Peppers are still around and Anthony Kiedis still has the biggest dick in the business; everybody dance now! Well, you could, but someone decided to take the video offline thanks to copyright issues. WHAT A SHAME. All you're missing is the usual turgid rubbish, complete with hair. Oh, there's also a massive dog/penis allegory that's being waved in the camera for three minutes.
The weekly metal music video to keep you in a state of habitual depression comes courtesy of Mastadon.
Metal can be sensual too is what this says. How? Well that's a very good question, but here we state a case that it is through the innocence of a woman's face. Metal-1, Feminism- -1.
Next week we'll be ditching gender politics and solving the problems that are inherent within society due to the class system and economic policy so be sure to tune in for that and for the latest on what Mutya, Keisha, and the other one are doing.
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