Jim Carey's daughter Jane Carrey revealed on American Idol how she's spent the past 24 years living in the lap of luxury, and riding golden ponies, all paid for by daddy's money. Wait: we mean the exact opposite of that…
"He's definitely not the most extravagant celebrity," the daughter of rubber-faced comic Jim Carrey told American Idol viewers, adding that she's a single mother whose been waiting tables for the last six years.
Ummm… what? There's a difference between not being 'extravagant' and letting your daughter clean-up other people's gobbed-out food for minimum wage.
Jim's got it all wrong. For a start, 'Jane Carrey' – what's up with that? The guy didn't even have the decency to name her after a fruit or a space missile. People are just going to have to GUESS at where she was conceived as he couldn't even be bothered to call her after the town.
What kind of start in life is that?
Unlike most celebrity spawn with a Jesus complex – famous because of their dad's good work – Jane Carrey is rumoured to actually be able to sing, and hasn't yet flashed her noo-noo at any paps. So what if she looks like Miley Cyrus who been covered in tar then rolled around in Primark.
There's still hope for her yet. American Idol's female contestants tend to be fat and crazy – like an army of bald-era Britneys. Plus, Pa Carrey is rumoured to be a Scientologist – a religion that would make more sense if it were based on the texts messages your drunk grandma sent the first time she used an iPhone.
Anyway. Here's the video because that's what you all came for:
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