Simon Cowell Wants Cheryl Cole And Tries To Reinvent The Scratch DJ

Simon Cowell has made stars of boybands, Chico, Susan Boyle and a variety of completely forgettable singers like Steve Brookstein, Leon Thingy and DooDah Sneddon. Possibly. We're get all those talent shows confused these days.

So what's his next move? Well, apart from publicly wooing Cheryl Cole again (presumably Kelly Rowland can't be bothered saying 'boo'/sitting next to the bizarre Tulisa on the X Factor next year), he's decided he's going to make a talent show about DJs.

Seriously. While this may pique the interest of some, there's little chance it could work in a primetime format… surely?

The music vampire-cum-mogul is launching a new talent competition to find the world's best DJs.

Cowell says:

"DJ's are the new rock stars, it feels like the right time to make this show"

So what kind of thing will the DJs be doing, to showcase how brilliant they are? Of course, the best DJs show off their skills  over a series of hours when they promote then play a set for a dancefloor filled with people. Will the show be around 40 hours long while a variety of DJs try and make a crowd go nutso?

Of course, the most notorious way for a DJ to show-off is to scratch. For those that don't know, there's a variety of ways to approach scratching. There's the usual thd-dghgdggy-thd stuff, as well as the infamous wiki-wiki-frrssshh scratch. But that wouldn't make much of a show.

There's more showy people out there who can do things like this…

Or beat juggle like this…

In which case, if that's what Cowell is going for, then he's trying to reinvent the DMC Championships which, as brilliant as it is, isn't going to be winning over any primetime mums and nanas any time soon, is it?

Away from that, Cowell wants Cheryl Cole back in his loving, tender, televisual embrace. When asked whether Cheryl could potentially return to the ITV1 programme, he said:

"She could be a panellist again if she wanted to – 100 per cent. I don't know if she would. I think she probably misses me."

Whatever. She's off washing her hair for money. We're more interested in what Cowell plans to do for DJing. Will we see a good-looking DJ getting off a stool for the key-change?

Oh god. Cowell is thinking of DJ Talent isn't he?