Apart from the myriad of famous people, the insane volumes of high quality Class A drugs, the alcoholism, casting couches, gangster dollars, movie productions and deviant sexual tastes, Hollywood is a bit of a snoozefest isn't it?
NOT NOW!
See, there's a massive investigation under way in LA after two dogs found a human head in a plastic bag next to the Hollywood sign! And of course, because only celebrities live in Hollywood, everyone who has ever been in a film is now very much a suspect!
The Police (no, not Sting's group) said two dog walkers with about nine dogs (only in Hollywood, arf!) came across the bag on a trail near the Hollywood sign in the Hollywood Hills yesterday.
Sergeant Mitzi Fierro told KCAL-TV that two dogs began playing with the bag. Then, brilliantly, an object fell out and the dog walkers realised it was a severed head!
Dogs eh? Always messing around with decapitated heads!
Sgt Fierro, who really does have a wonderful, wonderful name, said the bag was visible from the trail and it did not appear to have been in the area for very long. Of course, coroners will attempt to identify the victim through dental records and detectives are expected to search the area today.
Meanwhile, someone else will be hastily battering out a script based on the Head In A Bag and firing out to everyone in Hollywood in the hope that it will become a quality daytime straight-to-TV movie where everyone in the entertainment industry is a suspect!
Of course, anyone who doesn't put an option on it is obviously guilty as hell! This is a sure-fire winner! Happy pitching writers!
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