So dull that even air has been known to ignore and stagnate around him, Robert Pattison is the most baffling superstar ever generated by the various casting couches of Hollywood.
He's so forgettable that we can't think of a suitable ending to this sentence.
And now, to add to his impressively tedious acting résumé, he's going to pollute the world of music with an awful album of his music, created with his sister Lizzy, who sometimes has to be reminded of her extremely famous, but ultimately stiflingly dull brother.
Pattinson, often so criminally boring that his meal decompose in tedium when they're served to his famous face, started piano lessons when he was three. Apparently, he's developed an unusual technique on the ol' ivories as, thanks to Pattz being a thorough charm-vacuum, he's never played the black keys on a piano because they all saunter off when he approaches them.
And now, along with big sister Lizzy (who performed backing vocals in Twilight), he's making some album or other… not that anyone buys albums these days.
Should Pattinson's LP make it to the shops, the very shelves which promote them will probably fall asleep.
Some warty-div who knows him or something, told the Express:
'Rob has always been so supportive of Lizzy'
'They're really close, so it's nice they are working together.
Dull.
'He'll always turn up at her gigs if he's around, but he's seriously talented in his own right.'
It's been written elsewhere that, when Robert was younger, Lizzy found him so unswervingly beige that she used to dress him up as a girl and call him Claudia.
THAT is how boring R-Pattz is.
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