Taylor Swift (the Hayseed Barbie) has apparently been offered the role of Eponine in Tom Hooper's new 'Les Miserables' film, which is clearly terrible news for those chumps amongst you who like overwrought musicals.
What'll irritate the purists even more is that Swift has seemingly beaten off (no, not like that) actual actors including Lea Michele, Scarlett Johansson and Evan Rachel Wood.
Teenyboppers will be thrilling one off all over their Hello Kitty pen-tops while adults will be puking in their hands at the disgust of it all.
Talking to MTV, Molly Washok, 17 said:
"I seriously love 'Les Miz.' It's a great Broadway musical. And I've seen Taylor Swift in shows and I love her so much. I'm a big fan of both, so it makes me excited."
But can she act? She'll be joined in Les Miserables by some big-hitting A-Listers like Hugh Jackman, Helena Bonham Carter, Russell Crowe and Anne Hathaway, and potentially, Amanda Seyfried.
So what landed Taylor the gig? Is it her likeness to Eponine?
Well, in Victor Hugo's novel, Eponine grows up a spoiled brat who ends up in appalling poverty due to the bankruptcy of her parents' inn. Eponine is described as a "pale, puny, meagre creature." So far so good.
However, she's also noted as having a hoarse voice like "a drunken galley slave's" due to it being "roughened by brandy and by liquors." Taylor Swift is about as sordid as Aled Jones. Eponine also has missing teeth and mangled hair, not to mention bony shoulders, heavy brooding drooping eyes, and a premature-aging face 'with only a trace of beauty lingering'.
You can see why she got the part now, can't you?
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