Paris Hilton To Team Up With LMFAO To Make Ears Redundant Forever

How are your ears? Like having them? They're great for holding your glasses up aren't they? Pierced them? How nice. Alas, there's one drawback with ears – you can hear stuff. Yep, all manner of useless dreck can creep in their and there's nothing you can do about it.

Unless you stuff the canal with liquid concrete and then lop them off with cigar clippers.

And you may want to do exactly that because the most appalling news has come our way – Paris Hilton is making a pop comeback and she's teaming up with zany-irony gobblers and ear-wormers, LMFAO. If you don't know what that means, let us draw out the horror.

You may not know this, but Paris Hilton actually had a record out a while ago. She released an album in 2006 and, of course, it was lousier than a thousand Ed Sheerans.

And so, in a bid to buy herself a number one, she's decided that she will hire the second most irritating music producers on the planet (the first being 3OH!3 who look exactly like the kind of lads who would wag their tongues and shout 'BREWSKI!' while spitroasting a drunk girl on some grotty amateur video).

She told MTV News:

"We're going to be doing my new single with LMFAO… I've known them since I was a little girl. We grew up together 'cause our parents are friends, so I'm just so proud of them and all their success and what they've done 'cause they've just created this whole Party Rock brand and it's just so awesome."

You want to hear some of that 'Party Rock brand' don't you?

And so, listening to that, you're probably thinking that it's pretty derivative, blurt-pop as influenced by Timbaland at his worst, as much as it's influenced by terrible squelch-house, right?

Well, if you can put a name on it, you'll be helping out Paris who insists her new album will be very different from her debut:

"I'm going with a whole new genre."

So basically, it better sound a million miles away from this or we'll think you're full of it. Which you are. However, this threat comes with a '…and if we aren't satisfied with the results, we'll come and skin your chihuahuas'. Okay? No pressure.