Something For The Weekend Might Be Given An Extra Life When It Really Needs A Lethal Injection

Death is a certainty. It's one of those things that you can't escape from, like Witch Mountain. Or Monkey Island. Eventually, just like the rhythm, it's going to get you. Don't fight the inevitable readers – roll over and take out as many people as you can. It's what Guy Fawkes would have wanted.

Sometimes death is sad. Remember when Helen Daniels fell asleep and Hannah couldn't wake her up? Gutting. Or when that one off Cold Feet was hit by the truck while she was talking on her mobile phone. Tearful. But we wouldn't be antisocial enough to want to see them back. Anne Haddy had her chance and she blew it. Big style.

But sometimes death is good. It allows us to never have to see some things again. One of these things is Tim Lovejoy's narcissistic misogyny and Louise Redknapp's amazing ability to successfully imitate wet cardboard. We were all glad when Something For The Weekend was cancelled weren't we?

It meant that we didn't have to see Lovejoy patronise and denigrate the poor women who spent time to research and develop ideas for a major BBC show and struggle with a hangover. Or listen to Louise Redknapp agree with almost everything that every guest ever said about anything ever before adding some piece of banal information that no-one will ever care about. Which will only be followed by an awkward silence as Lovejoy's innate arsewipe tendencies surface again.

Well, some people on Facebook have decided that they would like to see Tim Lovejoy do the best impression of an Awful Person since Jade Goody did that racist thing that time.

21,000 twats in fact.

And it's even prompted ITV to enquire about retaining the presenting team and repurposing the package for their own nefarious needs. Sounds dreadful doesn't it? What's worse than Tim Lovejoy and Louise Redknapp being shit? Tim Lovejoy and Christine Bleakley, that's what. Blood pressures across the country would rocket. It might even prompt some people to have some sort of coronary episode. Is that what you want? People will die.

Saving Something For The Weekend will result in deaths. We're telling you now.

Join us at hecklerspray and make sure Tim Lovejoy, a man's who's overconfidence is only outmatched by his swollen-headed buffoonering antipathy for all woman.

We heard he thought Emmeline Pankhurst only acted up because she was on her period. Just saying.