martes, 28 de febrero de 2012

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Weird Metal Boxes Washing Up On Beaches

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The best thing we've ever found washed up on a beach is a twelve pack of Orange Crush and a VHS copy of The A-Team season 3. That provided first dates for all twelve of our most meaningful relationships.

All twelve of those occurred at a speed dating workshop. We're not proud, we're lonely. So very lonely.

On several beaches along the west coast of the United States a lot bigger things are getting dropped by the tide onto sandy resting spots. They're big metal boxes that nobody seems to recognize.

It's the latest mystery buzzing around paranormal circles – and we've got all the details for you right here. Just to clarify – by all the details we mean about three details. We've got three metal box details for you. Read on!

So apparently a bunch of big metal boxes that could have only been made by alien craftmanship have floated ashore on beaches lining North America's west coast. We here at hecklerspray strongly suspect that a UFO made entirely from large Legos exploded way out in the pacific somewhere.

A Website called Huliq has some of the details for you:

Metal boxes are still appearing as of Feb. 8 up and down West Coast beaches. They can't be moved; even when yanked by a four-wheel drive truck pulling on heavy chains tied around.

As of late afternoon Feb. 8, Bill Hanshumaker, a public marine specialist and (Ph.D) doctor of marine science at the Hatfield Marine Science Center in nearby Newport, told Huliq in an interview that, "I don't know what they are." In turn, Doctor Hanshumaker said he's advised "surf monitoring" about these strange metal boxes that suddenly appeared along local beaches Feb. 6, and now seem to be multiplying. The photograph that accompanies this report of yet another strange metal box stuck in the surf up is one of a possible group of a dozen or more that have been sited up and down West Coast beaches. Meanwhile, the British government also photographed similar huge metal boxes on beaches in Sri Lanka in the late 1990's and in early 2004 and 2005. When asked if he's ever heard of anything like these huge metal boxes, with no opening or seam, Doctor Hanshumaker would not comment or speculate on the record. Instead, this marine science expert has for photos of the boxes and size and coloring details.

The most interesting part of the above quotation, at least to us, is the claim that the boxes can't be moved. That sounds a bit like Thor's hammer. Maybe Anthony Hopkins whispered some magic into them.

That's probably what happened, actually. That aspect of the mystery has been solved.This crap is easy.

Now that's not to say the boxes really are immoveable – because they are disappearing. Some witnesses, again according to a Huliq article, claim they saw this:

"…boxes were seen being moved by a number of "white trucks" with heavy chains and upwards of four to six people seen pushing and then loading these strange metal boxes into the white trucks. One local Florence couple – who stopped to exam one metal box – said in a Feb. 15 Huliq interview that "it sure looks unusual." Also, the couple said they were "drawn to the box," and that "it felt warm, like nothing we've ever felt before."

"Each box that disappeared eventually made it's way to the set of Pawn Stars, where the owners were all low-balled, and eventually left with $75."

OK – we made up that last paragraph. But the rest of it is bona fide found on the internet. Who really knows what to think of all of this. There are rumblings that avid paranormal investigators have tried to look into these weird boxes with absolutely no luck. This implies hoax.

We hope not, though. First the Woolly Mammoth and now this. Oh well – as long as all these hoaxers continue to leave Bigfoot alone and never ever fake any evidence pertaining to it, we suppose we'll be alright.

Seriously though, continue to leave Bigfoot alone, hoaxers.

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