Since proving last week that she is perfectly capable of walking, talking and waving unaided by more than a medium-sized entourage Kate Middleton, the new Princess of Hearts, has been really earning her keep.
Walking, talking and waving is such super super hard work, make no mistake. Our Kate, Princess of Hearts, won't have anyone saying she's lazy and workshy: she took photos of her parents' balloons once and don't you forget it, you worthless scumbag single mother prole.
Kate's recent solo walking, talking and waving mission took her to a school in Cambridge, where she also demonstrated some serious bending down and smiling at kids skills. And get this; she was doing it in a cheap dress! That's right, she got her dress in the sales, just like a common person! It was only £162.50, and what can you get for £162.50 nowadays? Practically nothing (except, you know, food for a family of four for a week). Well done, Kate, for being so thrifty!
And she also let slip a massive whopping royal secret, guys!
No, no, not that Camilla cut the breaks on Diana's Merc, or the whereabouts of a mass prostitute grave in the grounds of Bamoral.
Something even bigger!
Her dog's secret name! It's Lupo! Like a wolf! Like that horrid little Vokswagen car that only has four seats! And Lupo already has a Twitter feed! It's just all too whimsical!
We hope that this will put paid to the Daily Mail comparing her to Diana all the bloody time. Christ, at least Di was pretty much guaranteed to show up smuggling peanuts, and her 'royal secrets' were, like, fucking massive.
If Kate's not flapping her gob about some proper secrets within a year, we want our money back.
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