Dappy Burbles About Olly Murs Not Being Good At Noise Making

Dappy, that guy in the silly hat from that crap hip-pop lot that we've all forgotten about has opened his mouth again.  This time he managed to form words rather than just a bubble of saliva.

The prat in the hat from N-Dubz has decided that Olly Murs' voice isn't up to the Dappy Gold Standard.

Dappy, who is probably not a classically trained musician with a pitch perfect ear for the human voice, summed up Olly Murs rise to mediocrity as less than pleasing to his particular tastes.  We're not always able to understand Dappy's peculiar cockney-gangster-semi-literate ramblings but this one seems pretty damning of poor Olly; "Bloomin' hell, Olly Murs needs to learn how to sing, boy".

To be sure we understood this particular statement perfectly, hecklerspray engaged the services of absolutely no experts and took a wild guess.  The conclusion is this, that Dappy believes himself to be a 'proper cockney geezer' much like Dick Van Dycke in Mary Poppins, hence the use of "bloomin' hell", which would instantly get you stabbed with a broken bottle anywhere south of Watford.  The next thing we  can guess is that Dappy has engaged the services of a Victorian street urchin, or possibly begun hallucinating him.  The urchin, he rather unappreciatively calls "boy".

We happily look forward to watching Dappy's deranged descent into cockney rhyming slang fuelled lunacy and child slave trafficking.  Mostly because it'll smarten him up a bit, he might swap the stupid very-top-of-the-head baseball cap for a tweed cloth cap.

Olly Murs doesn't seem to have given much of a toss about Dappy's musical opinion.  Afterall, Olly is an X Factor winner, he's got to stay focussed on pleasing the Great Lord Cowell.  And probably because it would run the danger of turning Olly into something interesting, which would be unfitting to a guy whose last name is basically "Meh".

Dappy also managed to string together enough coherent syllables to express that he was "happy" for Brit Award winners Adele and Ed Sheeran.

Although we do suspect that this communication may have been achieved with the use of flashcards and the sort of sign language chimps use to convey "give me a banana or I'll throw excrement at you".