Adam Levine Defends Christina Aguilera And Draws Attention To Her Chub In The Process

Do you know who singer, Adam Levine, is? Doesn't matter either way because he's not here to do what he's paid to do. Sing. He's here to offer his opinions on things which don't really concern him, yet somehow make for news these days.

He's talking about Christina Aguilera's big guts.

And he wants everyone to know that it really is okay to have a bit of chub. Unless you're the kind of lardo that will end up with type 2 diabetes, in which case, you haven't got a fuller figure, rather, you are wearing a death suit that looks like mozzarella wrapped in meat. Either way though, go curves! and all that!

Levine decided to defend Xtina after US radio host Howard Stern poked fun at the pop star's weight. Levine, who has the moves like nana, he has the moves like nana, he's got the moooo-oooo-ooooo-oooves like nana, used to carry a bit of timber according to well… him, despite being as limby as something from Avatar.

He said:

"As long as I'm happy in my own skin, that's all I need. I'm happy with where I'm at. I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body."

And so, cue Stern with his American Jeremy Clarkson Schtick. In reference to Aguilera, he said:

"Why do you think she's got so heavy, is she upset? She used to be so f**king hot! And her clothes are too tight, am I right?"

RIGHT GUYS? GUYS? RIGHT? HE'S JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE THINKS, GUYS RIGHT GUYS GUYS RIGHT?

Adam replied:

"Her clothes are tight, she likes to wear tight clothes! She clearly likes to talk about being comfortable with being a woman, and snapping her fingers and doing the whole (diva) thing."

RIGHT GAYS? RIGHT? YOU LIKE ALL THIS DIVA THING DON'T YOU GAYS? RIGHT? GAYS?

Sweet muscular Jesus on a stilts, is this getting wearisome for anyone else? Seriously. Christina hasn't done anything of note for a while so how the crap does anyone actually know what she's weighing at the moment?