When you look at your parents, are you proud? If you are, you shouldn't be. They gave birth to you for a start and that's as big a failure as it gets. However, David Beckham's children are very proud indeed.
They should be. They live in a number of gigantic houses and will never have to work a day in their pampered little lives.
And what are they thankful for? David's footballing exploits? Victoria's singing career? (Hahahah! HAHAHA!) No. They are most proud of their father's groin area, complete with 20ft ballbag! Hurray for staring at your father's genitals!
Of course, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz have never known their parents be anything but celebrities and are, unsurprisingly, completely at ease with the attention their high-profile parents get. And now they're getting older, they can see how career driven their parents are.
Speaking to Us Weekly David Beckham that his kids are particularly appreciative of his new ads for his line of underwear with H&M.
"They gave me a little bit of flack for that, but they're very proud of it.
He added:
"There's daddy in underpants on big billboards."
Of course, he's got a daughter now (who he is already teaching about how to be embarrassed of her body) and she's too young to glare at daddy's gigantonads.
So what does she bring to the party? Well, she allows Davey B to indulge himself in one of his deepest, most profound passions. And that's faeces.
"Obviously it's amazing [to have a girl in the mix]. It's something new, because we've got three sons and to have a little girl in the family is amazing."
"I love changing diapers, it's one of my passions."
There you go.
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