Del Boy And His Only Fools And Horses Go Stateside

The Brits was on the telly last night, as you may have noticed. A celebration of all the best musical talent that Britain, well… the Brit school, has to offer. American's just wouldn't get it, if it were up to them they'd just take the essence of our poncey awards bash, throw in some no name to front it and rename it the Grammys or something.

Because that's just what America does, isn't it? Look at what the World is doing, buy it up, butcher it to high heaven and stick on a laughter track they found down the back of the Married With Children sofa.

So it will come as no surprise that, now that pilot season is fast approaching Stateside, some of our favourite British shows are getting a very American kick in the jacobs.First up is the classic Only Fools and Horses, a very British show about a very British wheeler dealer from Peckham, his plonker of a brother and some bloke named Dave. How will this pie and mash staple fair in a Country that has a restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill, where someone ACTUALLY had a heart attack last week?

Badly, that's how.

Next up we have Misfits, which in itself was a very Channel 4 take on Heroes, the show that started oh so brightly, only to turn out to be another disappointing piece of tosh riding the nothing needs to make sense wave that Lost brought to our shores, crushing everything in its wake.

Anyone who's written a sentence, translated it into mandarin and then translated that text back into English will tell you that interpreting an interpretation works about as well as gagging the media and preventing them from telling people that you, Ryan Giggs, had lots of sex with Imogen Thomas.

Lastly, we have Will Mellor's new vehicle, White Van Man, which is to be translated into cholesterol for our cousins across the pond. It'll probably be about a plumber who has to balance his work load with being a single parent to a wise cracking son who sometimes comes to work with him, with hilarious consequences.

Or they could just take Will Mellor, honestly, let them have him, he can't do any worse than Steve Jones.