Think about Drew Barrymore. What do you see in your mind's eye? Is it a precocious child actor with a slight lisp? Is it grunge-approved 90s Drew with her Doc Martens and sociable boobs? Is it elder-stateswoman of Hollywood with a penchant for bad romcoms?
Doesn't matter what you think because all that is about to be swept under the rug under the pretense of I'm A Woman And The Role I Was Born To Do Was Motherhood.
That's right! Apparently, Drew has a baby growing inside her which means that all her achievements and goals will now be flung under the nearest bus in favour of flooding her Facebook wall with pictures of a crapping infant, like it's the first bald dung-machine that has ever existed!
Of course, this is all speculation because there has been no announcement yet, but there are things that are leading us to make such wild accusations.
For a start, the actress just got engaged to some bozo art consultant called Will Kopelman and now, she's been pictured while out-and-about clutching what appears to be a sonogram photo.
Unless it was a Polaroid. She's still pretty hipster. It definitely could've been a Polaroid, right?
If it was, she was taking photos inside a medical facility, so she's either got really peculiar tastes in what she likes to photograph or, indeed, she's got a symbiotic things growing up her toot.
This all comes with a sickeningly content notion that Drew wants to work less this year (suits us Mrs Films Haven't Been Great Of Late) so she can spend more time on her relationship with Will. She'll be baking bread next. Just you watch. The only people who make their own bread are those tedious swine with nothing better to do other than sigh at their own idyllic lives.
That doesn't include people in third world countries that make their own bread.
As for Barrymore's wedding, Drew has revealed what her dress should be like. She wants
"something tasteful, something timeless" and no "plunging necklines!".
Boring. Get back on the class-A drugs, eh?
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