Dougie Poynter & Mark Wright To Become TV’s Worst Ever Double Act

Everyone knows why Ant & Dec are successful. It's because ITV keep giving them money to appear on television. Their success is also built on a natural rapport and an overwhelming level of similarity that often leads old people to ask which one is which. No-one really knows.

There are very few double acts that are still going these days, aside from Ant & Dec, there is only really Paddy McGuinness and his delusion who are operating in tandem. Think about it- if you could have any two people to form a double act and be commissioned to make television programmes, who would you want?

If you said anything other than Mark Wright and Dougie Poynter then you clearly have no interest in the future of prime time television.

Yes Mark Wright, former star of ITV2?s The Only Way Is Ego, wants the bigwigs of television to give him and his celebrity chum Dougie Poynter their own TV show.

Mark & "The Other One From McFly" became BFFs during the last series of I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! although no-one noticed because they all gave up watching after the first episode had aired. Still, it's quite sweet isn't it? They're pals and they want to shove the fact that they're celebrity lovvies down our throats by subjecting us to some horrific chat/game/mutual masturbation show. Yes, very sweet indeed.

Some contemptible twat who probably writes inane press releases for a living told The Daily Redtop:

"They're both really active and sporty so a high energy, fun-packed entertainment show would be ideal… Mark and Dougie have a huge fan base, individually and together."

Hands up if you're part of that huge fanbase… anyone… no? We see a couple of idiots with permatans and a bad dye-job over in the corner there, frantically gesticulating like John Terry in a zoo but we've chosen to ignore them. The risible moron went on to say:

"Most girls fancy them but they also appeal to men as they've got the blokey banter."

There you go, folks! They're the perfect TV couple. They're both good looking blokes with shit for brains and penchant for self-flattery. Sign them up while Morecambe & Wise spin in their graves!