Okay. Credit where credit is due: Madonna's halftime show at the Super Bowl was pretty brilliant. That's even taking into account that LMFAO showed up and the always disappointing MIA flipped the bird in an attempt to show her terrible hipster fans that she hadn't 'sold out'.
And so, if the Super Bowl show was anything to go by, Madge's announcement that she will be going on a tour of the world should be met with some excitement.
Provided of course, her new LP (dubbed 'MDNA') isn't a gigantic brown trout of a release.
Madge will go on tour from May, starting in Israel (can't see her causing loads of trouble there) before moving on to Europe, with legs in South America and Australia, where she has not performed for 20 years.
The 2012 World Tour will be the first jaunt for someone we're legally obliged to call 'Material Girl' at least once in this article since her "Sticky & Sweet Tour" in 2008/9. She'll be stopping off in cities including London, Edinburgh, Paris, Milan, Abu Dhabi and Berlin.
The tour starts on May 29th in Tel Aviv, then buggers off to Abu Dhabi and Istanbul in early June. Then, she'll take her circus to Europe, which concludes on August 21st in Nice, France.
The North American, South American and Australian legs don't have dates yet, so stop stomping your feet and whinging about it. She just likes the Middle East and Europe best, okay?
Either way, if her new album turns out to be a howler, at least she's got a very impressive back-catalogue to lean on.
Failing that, she can just hire a young popstar to come on-stage with her and make a vaguely rude hand gesture or, better yet, she can try and outdo her Britney-kiss and have full-on, fisting sex with Adele or something.
And who wouldn't want to see that?
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