Adele Is Officially Better Than Michael Jackson

Some people can't bear to move on and will stubbornly live in the past forever. One group of people who can't escape the past are those loveable creatures that we call Michael Jackson fans.

How we chortle at their antics as they listen to their battered tape copies of his albums and trip over when they attempt to emulate his legendary moon walk. Heed our warning mind; anger these beasts and they'll lash out violently.

Since the king of pop's sudden death, nobody has officially taken his title. Lady Gaga has all sorts of gimmicks like Jackson had, such as that infamous meat dress. And to her advantage, they're all planned, unlike that Pepsi commercial. You can do all sorts in terms of marketing a product, but overall, that counts for nothing if you're yesterday's news as it is revealed that Adele is now officially better than Michael Jackson.

Fans of The Beatles can sympathise with the fanatical Michael Jackson fans, and this time it isn't about the royalty rights issues. The Beatles are now considered old toss since Glee outranked them in terms of chart positions. Any Fab Four LP's you own dropped in value overnight. After all, who would want to listen to a band that has a measly 71 chart entries? Glee have 75 plus and are still going strong! We won't stop believing in them.

With 'sexy' Dr. Conrad Murray being convicted of killing-one-off over Michael Jackson, it weirdly did MJ some good. People stopped calling Michael a two timing paedophile and most importantly for Joe Jackson, the album revenues started rolling in! Hooray for easy money! Yup, it was like the Californian gold rush all over again. People flocked from miles around to buy the same records they already owned, but with an additional demo track that was recorded when Michael was suffering from musical diarrohea.

Anyway, Jackson has relied on these post death extra-sales, but the fact remains is that he's still absolutely dead. And what with Adele still being alive, there's a tortoise and the hare style race.

Basically, in the space of a year, Adele has already outsold 'Bad' and is a whisker away from outselling 'Thriller'. Have a look at the best selling album sales, ever:

1. Queen – Greatest Hits (5,863,000)
2. The Beatles – Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (5,044,000)
3. Abba – Gold: Greatest Hits (4,989,000)
4. Oasis – What's the Story Morning Glory (4,517,000)
5. Michael Jackson – Thriller (4,248,000)
6. Dire Straits – Brothers in Arms (4,152,000)
7. Pink Floyd – The Dark Side of the Moon (4,114,000)
8. Adele – 21 (4,020,000)
9. Michael Jackson – Bad (3,959,000)
10. Queen – Greatest Hits II (3,887,000)

Michael Jackson fans will probably be frothing through their noses as they angrily point out that there are two Michael Jackson albums in there… but they're missing the point. See, Adele is on the cusp of outdoing Michael Jackson with considerably less work under her ample belt.

Basically, Adele is much, much better AND hasn't been accused of touching children on the bum.