Even though Celine Dion hasn't done anything of note in the public eye for some time now, it doesn't stop you from feeling her evil presence on the wind, does it? It's malignant and just… there.
And so, a collective weight was lifted from the shoulders of the world when it was announced that the tepid belter was dead.
Alas, Celine Dion is just the latest celebrity to be killed off by a rumour. As well you know, bullets, illness, drugs, murder, knives and wild bear attacks are much better at killing unwanted celebrities, rather than mere rumours.
There was hope on Thursday when "RIP Celine Dion" became a worldwide trending topic on Twitter, circulating rumours that the singer had died.
One false report (which we wish we'd written) claimed that Celine Dion died in a private plane crash whereas another claims that the star has died in a Route 80 car crash.
Alas, along came a representative for the singer who said that the whole thing was "not true" and that Celine is alive and well.
The truth of the matter is even worse.
What actually happened was that Celine recently suffered from a serious viral infection that caused her to cancel a host of Vegas shows. So she's lost her voice FOREVER?!
No. She's making a recovery from that too.
Now, this article looks like we're saying that we actually wish Celine Dion was dead. Rest assured dear reader, we joke around about a lot of things and talk things up and extend them for comedic effect.
But not this time. We're deadly serious about this one.
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