Ja Rule doesn't get many birthdays. No, it is nothing to do with some bizarre cult he's signed up to, rather, his birthday falls on a leap year. That's February 29th in case you're thicker than a pig's lunch.
That's nice isn't it? Ja Rule is obviously a kindly bloke.
So how is the greatest rapper the world has ever seen spending his birthday? Is he going to bathe in Crystal and asses milk? Well, if he's not careful, it's the ass he's got to keep a close eye on. Especially when he's having a cheeky shower.
It is the first time in four years that Ja Rule is able to celebrate his real birthday, but sadly for him, there's something getting in the way this year.
He's in prison.
And so, Ja Rule normally surrounded by dangerous, murderous, drug-lunged lunatics is now spending his birthday with… well… now we think about it.
HOWEVER! It isn't all bad news for JR!
As today is his birthday, he's getting a special meal made for him! Isn't that nice! Is a cake with a file in? Is it soap wrapped in a towel? Don't be silly! This meal is a delightful 2,500-calorie prison birthday menu!
Ambulance-chasing TMZ report that, according to the "heart healthy menu" at the NY State prison where Ja is currently serving a two-year sentence for gun possession, Rule can look forward to tucking into some corn flakes in the morning, Jamaican patties for lunch, and turkey stew for dinner.
It may not seem much to you, but the usual prison diet is a mixture of beatings and semen.
Also, remarkably, Ja released his 7th studio album yesterday too. He's a clever sort isn't he? We strongly suspect it is a pile of gash, but still.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JA RULE!
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