Obligatory Mention Of Tulisa’s Sex Tape

So, Tulisa has a sex tape does she? Of course, lawyers are saying it isn't her (although the video contains someone with the exact same DNA as the X Factor judge, it seems) and everyone is hastily taking down stills from the video.

That'd be the video which has Tulisa's dead-ringer sucking what appears to be (actually is) an engorged male member. Apparently, the phallus whacks her on the forehead at one point, which is always nice.

But of course, legally speaking, it isn't her… despite what Dappy – her bandmate and cousin – said on twitter, dropping her right in it. Just think of that. Watching your cousin's sex tape. How very, very tasteful.

Former N-Dubz star Dappy has apparantly commented on the controversy surrounding the sex tape alleged to star The Female Boss. Oh, and he reckons her 'co-star' is Fazer, also from N-Dubz.

A rep for Tulisa has previously insisted that the tape is:

"Is 100 per cent fake and is just someone trying to cash in on [Tulisa's] X Factor role.

"She is horrified that someone would go to the extreme lengths of fabricating a video. It is absolutely not her. Tulisa has categorically never allowed anyone to film her having sex."

Along came Dappy:

"JUST SO EVERY 1 KNOWS,ME AND FAZER HAVE F…ED MANY B.TCHES 2 GETHER,SO I AM CLEARLY STATING THAT THE D..K IN T'S ALLEGED SEX TAPE IS FAZERS".

"SECOND OF ALL, THAT WAS MORE THAN THREE YEARS AGO WHEN FAZER TOOK THEM PICS..THIS IS SIMPLY @IamFazer TRYING 2 GET @officaltulisa BACK! NUFF SAID!"

Dappy then deleted the tweets. No matter though because we've reprinted them here so no-one need ever forget what he said.

Lovely.

Now, you run along and see if you can find it online anywhere so you can also see Not Tulisa with a wang all up in her grill.