Apple: Hating Those Other Pauper Devices

Thanks to the rise of telecommunications, the humble apple and blackberry are no longer seen as delicious pieces of fruit. "Apple" in particular isn't seen as something to make cider with, but as a massive technology company.

Steve Jobs was the bloke who modified the clunky Apple desktop computers that were once seen as inferior to Microsoft's PC's and transformed them into sleek and sexy devices. They're so trendy that anyone seen in a Starbucks without a white coloured laptop will be scorned at; all whilst their double filtered extra frothy latté with polar bear milk gets sabotaged.

So what have Apple done exactly? They've made the MP3 market their own with the iPod took the geekiness out of computing. Now, they're tackling the tablet market and have already launched various iPads. But Apple products are expensive right? Course they are, but that shouldn't matter according to Apple's Tim Cook. He says that cheaper tablets ruin it for everyone.

As we all know, Steve Jobs sadly died last year of cancer and he couldn't be restarted or successfully rebooted because Macs don't have antivirus software. His position has been left to Tim Cook, a man we don't know a great deal about, though he does seem to have a bit more fashion sense. Gone are the turtleneck jumpers and cheap jeans from Jobs, to a suit wearing, corporate looking Tim Cook, an image that's totally hot.

If we all went out and bought an Apple product everytime one was announced, we'd be in financial ruin and be able to open our own museum. iPods now come in the form of touch, nano and classic varieties with a wide selection of sizes. Endless choice that's really just an annoyance.

Speaking at a conference which was no doubt attended by people who hung on the gospel of Apple, Tim Cook said this about rival tablets and how a cheaper model isn't always the best.

"Price is rarely the most important thing. A cheap product might sell some units. Somebody gets it home and they feel great when they pay the money, but then they get it home and use it and the joy is gone."

Once again, this argument boils down to brand loyalty and the power of advertising. Of course people will always like to have the best of everything, but sometimes that isn't possible. hecklerspray writers in particular would like to be able to live in something that isn't a hovel, but we cope.

Perhaps Apple are going to fulfill their promise to become the most patronising cocks in the world with their God devices? This is despite them not allowing other product like Samsung and its Galaxy tablet to truly compete due to tedious lawsuits.

As long as a tablet device connects to the internet and has a few wacky apps for stuff like morphing your face into a whale, people won't care about the brand. Given the dire financial climate, saving money is the priority for most. Not being able to shout down from the rafters that they own a shiny Apple product. But try telling that to Tim Cook who continued his pointless rant by saying:

"The joy is gone every day that they use it until they aren't using it anymore. You don't keep remembering 'I got a good deal' because you hate it."

Christ, we get excited when BOGOF on packs of burgers, Tim Cook probably wouldn't like to see us get excited over something he'd not consider meaningful to life and Apple.

Prick.