Dr. Conrad Murray Wants An Electronic Tag & A Get Out Of Jail Free Card

When you're in a position of note, it's easy to get carried away and become an egotistical crack-shack. One need only look at Sting's self-satisfied fizzog to see exactly what we mean.

Not everybody has it so easy once they've been elevated to a "status" – especially one they might not want. Who are we talking about? Why it's none other than ol' safe hands himself, 'Sexy' Dr. Conrad Murray. The man that, in the eyes of Michael Jackson fans, makes Harold Shipman look like a competent medical professional.

There's a very good reason that whilst you're reading this, Dr. Conrad Murray is being held in a prison somewhere. He was tried and convicted of manslaughter. Tsk tsk. Still, he's looking forward to some time away from a depressing concrete cell. If he gets his way, you might be able to see him sooner rather than later!

Any medical textbook will tell you that if you give someone a bucket-load of industrial strength medication, it probably won't make you feel overly chirpy in the morning. Then again, perhaps the people around him should have whispered "Michael, stop injecting yourself with that stuff and talking to your stuffed animals, they're not real. Bubbles is gone."

Even if Dr. Conrad Murray had been found innocent, the Jackson estate would have appealed the conviction, due to them worrying about where the next pay cheque was coming from. After all, it isn't like Janet Jackson has stepped up and become the breadwinner has she? In the first of a million more trials, Dr. Conrad Murray is going to argue the original decision. He'll be using the following utterly incomprehensible defense:

"Improper exclusion of defence evidence and witnesses that resulted in violating the defendant's State and constitutional rights to due process, to present a defence and to the effective assistance of counsel."

Because none of us are trained lawyers, we assume that Dr. Conrad Murray feels that some of the witnesses used against him were dodgy. Perhaps his argument does have a modicum of logic. Michael Jackson was getting quite deluded in his later life, so perhaps calling on the sworn testimony of Santa Claus wouldn't be appropriate. After all, Murray's lawyers have said that he's living in:

"Maximum security conditions in jail and had exhausted virtually all of his available resources."

It's well documented that before accidentally knocking off a pop star, Dr. Conrad Murray had no previous criminal conviction. So is it fair that he's shackled around all day and spends most of his time inside on his own? What's the ideal solution for team Murray? Living on a secret island with 2Pac? Oh no, it's something much more quaint:

"He would live with the mother of his child, Nicole Alvarez, and would seek employment. He also is said to be willing to wear an electronic bracelet so his movements can be monitored."

Michael Jackson fans could benefit! Imagine the Dr. Conrad Murray GPS tracking system app. The Jackson family could easily tap in and leech off that idea.