Trailer Park: Nic Cage And Some Films Without Nic Cage

Films, again really? In the midst of all this Chris Brown at the Grammy's furore frankly we're shocked that people haven't suspended production and the studios been shut down, but then that's show business and the show must go on.

Or something like that.

With that in mind here are the most terrible movies you can go and watch when you stop smiling from seeing The Muppets, which does have some terrible trailers before it in case you were wondering.

Valentine's Day is over and Nicolas Cage is no closer to finding love or the millions of dollars he needs to buy back his castle and comic collection.

This means that he is going to continue starring in any film that will have him until somebody starts a cult that will swiftly end his pain.

That's the sequel to Ghost Rider which is a film that none of you saw for good reasons. As a concept Ghost Rider is pretty bad-ass, but then they go and stuff prosthetic eyes on absolutely everyone and add a tanned evil child. Okay, so it still sounds great.

Sod it, give the man your money he tries his hardest.

Now that we've alienated all of you with that dirge, here's a film that's only getting a limited release because of all the bloody talking.

It's bilingual, all smoky and European and has two incredibly attractive people having better sex than you've ever had just by smouldering the pants off of each other.

We have no idea what it's about.

Now imagine there is a trailer for a film called The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, which, as well as sounding like an interesting coffee, also stars everyone from England to ever have stood in front of a camera, EVER. However, you'll have to carry on imagining this because none of the videos have sound which is underwhelming, but then the world loves the silent films now, right? So it's probably a tactical thing.

Instead we're going to enrich your lives by taking a look at the newly released Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter trailer.

Amidst all the speech giving and axe twirling it's a wonder Honest Abe had time to brush those pearly whites. This is the perfect film for everyone because it has Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires. Abe Lincoln. Hunting. Vampires. It's just as mind bendingly insane the second time. We'll see you in June.

There's some terrible, terrible films coming out soon and most of them star people you once thought you liked such as Denzel Washington or Tom Hardy, but that doesn't mean you should watch them – it's just a sign that your taste was never good.

Bear that in mind while you're watching Ghost Rider 2 in 3D and please do let us know how the experience is for you. Not that we're considering seeing it or anything…