Awesome Or Off-Putting: Large White Woman In Love With Enormous Green Woman (That She-Hulk On Ellis Island)

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

With all those immigrants coming to America through her metaphoric vaginal canal, we suppose it was only a matter of time until one of them fell deeply in love with the Statue of Liberty. So it is with Amanda Whittaker. Although we can't say for certain that she in an immigrant, we can say she claims a steamy, one-sided love affair with the gargantuan green lady.

A word of caution – don't mock her. Her inanimate-lover condition could happen to you. You know, if you're really lonely and human-people never like to touch you or something.

'Objectum sexuality,' as it's known, is a serious condition and certainly is not a laughing matter. If you've got it, it means you're seriously attracted to inanimate objects – like your dad's 30 year old soccer shoes.

We're talking to you, Jimmy Nelson of 432 Oak Street in Manitoba. Consider this an intervention you stupid idiot pervert.

Amanda Whittaker, allegedly, is a 27 year old woman who is wicked in love with the Statue of Liberty. We've not heard that she's had any luck in planning out their life together. Probably not, though, as last we heard old lady liberty had a thing for that Egyptian Sphinx. Bestially unnatural, we know – even for two statues.

But we're getting off task here. Back to the lady who loves the statue of a lady. According to the Daily Mail:

"…Amanda Whittaker… says she has fallen head over heels for the [Statue of Liberty]. The 27-year-old shop assistant from Leeds suffers from an unusual condition called objectum sexuality, whereby she falls in love with inanimate objects instead of people. And speaking in the Sun on Sunday Amanda says she has installed a shrine to the landmark in her home to show her love for it and confesses to a passionate love affair with a drum kit in her teens."

Now loving a drum kit is something we can really get behind. Loving a statue we could also get behind, now that we've thought about it. Especially down at Madame Tussauds. Where else could a website like us possible stand a chance with Kathy Bates or Meatloaf?

We suppose there would be perks to dating something as large and inanimate as the Statue of Liberty.  For instance – she's probably all legs under that multi-ton toga.

It definitely wouldn't be all perks though. Think about it – She's French.

We suppose we should take the opportunity to congratulate the happy couple. May you have many years of love, and may you frequently be completely cleaned of pigeon poop. Especially around that giant crown.

You know there's loads of pigeon poop around that giant crown.

 

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. With all those immigrants coming to America through her metaphoric vaginal canal, we suppose it was only a matter of time until [...]