Rock music is all about big parties, big hair and big mountains of cocaine that you can slam a groupie's head into, isn't it? Not if you're Axl Rose and all you want is to get your head down for a couple of hours.
Perhaps we're being too harsh on ol' castrato-voice himself but this is- without a doubt- the most boring news story in Rock. That's right folks, this one's a stinker.
Axl Rose wanted blackout blinds for his penthouse suite so he could get some kip.
Contain yourselves.
So chuffed were Guns n' Roses with their Orlando date on Saturday night, they decided to do what all good rockstars do and cry into glasses of whisky while wailing "Why doesn't Slash love us?!". After partying the night away in one of Florida's many interesting nightspots, they rocked up at their Miami Beach hotel.
At 3am!
Rock stars, eh?!
That's not all though, this story takes a darker turn. It appears that Mr. Rose, so tuckered out by the wild party decided that he would sleep for another two hours on the tour bus. We know, this might be a bit much to take in. Unless you've fallen asleep at the mundanity of this story.
In a week where Slash is in the news because of an elaborate child pornography scam, the screeching front man had to have something out there to keep him in the public eye. Why it had to be this, we have no idea. He'd have been better off ritually sacrificing a goat. At least there are some jokes in that.
Onwards and upwards though. Axl's sleepyheadedness didn't end there as he demanded, possibly in the whiny, tired voice of a child, that his penthouse suite be fitted with blackout blinds so that he could get some shut-eye. Yes. This story even has a window decoration angle.
Even the most ardent Guns n' Roses fan would have to admit that it's not an exciting story.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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