martes, 20 de marzo de 2012

Gwyneth Paltrow Angrily Mutters About Pointless Cookbook

It must be terrible being Gwyneth Paltrow. Not only is your own singing career as dubious as your husband's, but you're also a lousy actress and pious cook. It's like Linda McCartney never died at all.

Looking at the cookbook, Paltrow has been accused of not exactly writing it herself.

Not that anyone on this godforsaken planet actually cares one iota. Apart from Gwyneth herself of course, and a handful of sadsacks who follow the Martin-Paltrows moves to compensate for a lack of beige in their lives.

Her 2011 cookbook, My Father's Daughter, was not all her own work according to an article in last week's New York Times.

The actress took to Twitter.com (aka The Celebrity Confession Booth) on Saturday to dismiss the piece which said that a ghost writer helped her to write out all those pesky words.

Not that this is a problem. hecklerspray is ghostwritten by a dozen depressed toads in a factory in Bognor Regis while we lord it up with bags of glue in the 'spray hovel.

Paltrow wrote:

"Love The New York Times dining section but this week's facts need checking. No ghostwriter on my cookbook, I wrote every word myself."

Sadly, everyone missed this tweet because they fell asleep, head crashing into the keyboard thanks to the tedium of it all. That is why, should you be wondering, #oihfdjow0idohfhb3obfdo2b2f4dpo3d was trending worldwide over the weekend.

Congratulations to all of you who aren't on twitter and don't understand what this is all about. You must be thrilled with your self-serving sense of righteousness at not wanting to communicate with people.

You would've sneered at the invention of telephones if you were around at the time, eh?

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