Divadom is usually earned, rather than assumed. A diva doesn't have to flaunt her sexual wares because they know, deep down, everyone wants it from them or, indeed, loathes them for the abundant refined, oozing sexuality.
Basically, someone needs to tell Rihanna and Ke$ha that you're not a diva if you shake your tatas at everyone, every 3 seconds, like a needy pup dry-spunking a cushion in your gran's living room.
And concerning Ke$ha, she's really desperate to shock us all by talking genitalia. This time, instead of being the star of the most unwelcome leaked celebrity sex pics, she's invented a new type of music called 'cock pop'. Oh, won't you just crawl under a hedge and cease-to-be already?
The jarring auto-tune nuisance has promised that her follow-up to 'Animal' will showcase a new style of music. You may think that she'll be throwing out the usual US-pop, but if our suspicions are right, her new genre will be as irritating as a thousand Crazy Frog releases, trapped inside a wasps anus, stinging your ear while you get dragged teeth first along a blackboard.
Squared.
Ke$ha tweeted:
"Wailing on an epic track with Doctor Luke & Benny Blanco."
Christ.
"This is the dawn of a new genre of music: COCK POP!!!"
Honestly. The very thought of Ke$ha is enough to make every single penis on Earth – man or beast – retract so hard and so quickly that it will end up popping your eye out of its socket, leaving us looking like a species of slug-men hybrids, feelers protruding from our ashen faces.
Oh, and Ke$ha is going for cred-points too by saying her new record is inspired by Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and Iggy Pop. Which it isn't.
You know it isn't.
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