If you were regarded as the smartest man on the planet, with a mind that had single handedly advanced scientific knowledge in countless ways, what would you do with your free time?
Would you potter about your house theorising how the Universe came into being? Maybe you'd hold a dinner party with your peers, discussing what lies in store for the rest of us mere mortals? Or would you get freaky with a harem of naked beach babes in a California swingers club?
Well, if you're Stephen Hawking, the answer is to roll yourself on down to the meat market and perform your own version of the Big Bang.It turns out that Hawking loves himself some poontang, having previously been photographed on a visit to Stringfellow's, and was reported to have visited the Freedom Acres Swingers' club in Devore, California.
Hawking is said to have rocked up with his team of carers and nurses and paid for the services of a team of young, naked beauties.
Naturally we here at hecklerspray can only assume that the Hawkman was just trying to figure out what was preventing the Large Hadron Collider from discovering the Higgs Boson particle and just needed a bevvy of nubile, naked helpers writhing around on top of him so that he could properly visualise the way in which the so-called God particle is thought to travel.
Or he was merely interested in showing them his Large Hadron Collider, which has laid dormant underneath Switzerland ever since his divorce from his second wife in 2007.
Let's just hope he didn't want them to discover his Higgs Boson particles all over their ample chests.
Sorry, that was a bit too much wasn't it? You're going to have that horrible image of Hawking leering over women over 50 years his junior stuck in your mind now aren't you?
Well, you can rest assured that we wouldn't dream of making it worse by trying to replicate what an orgy with the good Professor would sound like.
Yes, we know, we're the worst kind of scum.
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