Alleged 'funny man' and renowned one-trick pony Sacha Baron Cohen is thought to be the only man on earth laughing as it is announced he has signed an exclusive three-year 'development' deal with Paramount Studios.
It is believed the 'developing' will involve churning-out yet more identikit cinematic ennui-fests destined to leave laughter-enthusiasts stony-faced and mildly depressed.
Announcing the deal, Paramount CEO Brad Grey described Baron Cohen as "the rare global comedy star" which we take to mean: "He has the rare ability of being found desperately unamusing the world over, yet somehow makes sheds of money for film studios. Good toimes, as that other comedy genius Justin Lee Collins would say. But not to his ex-girlfriend. He definitely has nothing to say to her. And never has."
Baron Cohen's latest opus The Dictator is due for release shortly, and is rumoured to be as much fun as drinking a cup of cold spunk. Not much is known about it, but we're going to take a wild stab and guess that it involves a poorly-sketched walking, talking cultural stereotype as a central character who is then thrust into a series of wiltingly non-outrageous fish-out-of-water scenarios from which neither hilarity nor narrative ensue.
Smart-arse Mark Kermode-wannabees will stoke their chins and loftily opine that "actually the film says more about us as a socio-culture than it says about the protagonist" and oafish Super Dry-clad buffoons will laugh like drains at the dick jokes.
Still. If it ain't broke, eh?
The Dictator is released on May 11th. Hopefully the world will end first.
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