Jay Z Will Not Be Calling Women ‘Bitches’ Anymore, Apart From You Slags

Jay Z famously had 99 problems but, a bitch wasn't one of them. And from now on, bitches won't ever be a problem because he's decided that he's not going to degrade women anymore. And it's all because he's had a stupid baby with a stupid name.

Ain't life a funny thing?

Seriously. The rap mogul has vowed to drop the word from his lyrics after the birth of Blue Ivy Carter. Now he's got someone to care about, he's realised that referring to women as bitches isn't really that nice. Of course, his wife, mother and any other female family member must feel more than irked because he's been happy to call that lot bitches for the best part of 20 years. There's more! Jiggaman must be extra sensitive because he told us this news via a poem! A POEM! All this, while someone was naming a species of fly after his 'bitch', Beyonce.

In the poem, the rapper wrote in his neatest handwriting:

"Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich/I didn't think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it."

He'll still be using 'ho!' though, right? Apparently not! There won't even be bikini-clad girl in his videos because he went on to swear that he'll protect her and that the "degradation has passed".

He writes:

"No man will degrade her, or call her name. I'm so focused on your future, the degradation has passed. I wish you wealth, health and insight. Forever young you may pass. Blue Ivy Carter, my angel."

Mercifully, there's a bunch of other rappers who will still be selling a million records to continue the use of 'bitch'. And of course, in time old hip hop tradition, we'd like to point out that we're not being sexist. Ho and bitch are only ever aimed at those women who act like hos and bitches. Okay?

Peace. One love. Big pimpin'.

Oh, and in other news, scientists have just named a horse fly with a golden rear end after Beyonce. No, honest. It's a rare Scaptia (Plinthina) beyonceae species of horse fly and scientists have said:

"It was the unique dense golden hairs on the fly's abdomen that led me to name this fly in honor of the performer Beyonce as well as giving me the chance to demonstrate the fun side of taxonomy"

See bitches? Things aren't so bad are they?