Look at you all. Your ears have imploded and you've been crying. For ages. It's all Adele's fault. Her shrieking, caterwauling racket has left the world in a state of submission, ready to give up. However, there's good news!
But this good news doesn't come easy. Your ears are about to get some blessed relief, but your stomach may throw-up in the process.
Adele gave an interview over the weekend, just before she bagged six Grammy awards, and stated that she's going to take a long time off from music because she likes having sex. ALL THE TIME.
Adele wants to go on a career hiatus so she can focus on her relationship with her boyfriend Simon Konecki.
She said:
"I am fucking off for four or five years. If I am constantly working, my relationships fail. So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record. And be in love and be happy."
"And then I don't know what I'll do. Get married. Have some kids. Plant a nice vegetable patch."
Nice to see Adele getting some vegetables in her diet.
But what's all this about sex and being a wife and all that? Well, the next quote is going to see you with the horrible image of a naked human.
"Come on! I'm wifey material! I'm great," she said. "I will do anything for my man. I am a good cook. I'm funny. Always want to have sex – well, most girls don't!"
Ostensibly, this could be the end of Adele's career. Not only is she going to take her foot off the gas while there is huge momentum behind her, but she's also becoming happy. No-one ever made a gigantic selling album based on happiness.
In short – good riddance.
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