And Here Are The Many Details Of Jennifer Aniston’s 43rd Birthday Party

Oh! How the other half live! When they have birthday parties, it's all unicorns and little people carrying stainless steel trays of high quality Colombian cocaine, right? There's wild sex rooms and working class people murdered for sport!

Unless you're Jennifer Aniston.

Her parties have, until recently, centered on her sitting in the dark at the foot of her stairs, crying over a photograph of Brad Pitt, reeking of Hendricks gin. Not these days though! No at all! And we've been given the details of how Jennifer gets her kicks these days! And she's probably smuggling peanuts under her vest-top, just like she did in Friends!

That's right folks. Jennifer Aniston is 43 years old. She doesn't look a day over anyone else who is 43 and has access to professional make-up artists and a life that isn't exactly difficult on a daily basis.

And she had a birthday party thrown by boyfriend Justin Theroux. You'll remember him as the documentary maker who bugged Jimmy Savile and sat on the knee of a Tory's wife. That's the same guy, right?

Anyway, forget all that! What was this decadent party really like? Well, it all took place in a penthouse suite overlooking the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, California. HOW EXCITING!

An inside source said that the decoration was kept minimal "with white hurricane candles lining the room and the balcony."

They continued, saying:

"A bar was set up inside along with a table where guests put presents. It was a cold night, but there were heaters on the patio. There were servers walking around with appetizers and jazz music playing."

Guests included Courteney Cox, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Kimmel, Ben Stiller, Emily Blunt and Jason Bateman!

"She seemed very excited to see her friends, but she never got too far from Justin. Every once in awhile, Justin would come up from behind and give her a big hug and kiss. They would embrace and whisper to each other for a minute but then go back to socializing. She seemed very relaxed."

WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

Basically, Jennifer Aniston had a perfectly lovely time with her boyfriend at a party which had 'heaters' and some music playing.

Celebrities. You party game is weak. We demand tears, drugs, punch-ups and ABSOLUTELY NO HEATERS! How are Aniston's nipples supposed to suggestively poke through her clothes if she's warm?!

This is an outrage.