Geri Halliwell Wants You To Look Like Her 15 Years Ago

People of the World, spice up your life, as Madhur Jaffrey advised us. And now, ladies, spicing up your life is even easier, because singer/author/actress/thin Geri Halliwell has finally done what everyone presumed she would have done years ago and released a range of clothes inspired by the iconic Union Jack dress she popped out of during the '98 Brit Awards.

Peddling her wares through Next, she is hoping to capitalise on a bumper year for angry British men, uniting British pride through the Olympics (where the Union Jack will be more common than people complaining about traffic and foreigners), raising the profile of the Spice Girls, who will allegedly appear at the Queen's Diamond Jubilee (groan) and the upcoming race for the best beachwear on the High Street.

Sounds dreadful doesn't it?

Geri even admitted how conniving she's been by creating a range centred on one of the most iconic British images of the past 50 years.

"I think this dress has definitely become iconic and I'm proud to say that – and equally it celebrated Britain and I can't think of a better time to celebrate Britain. We've got the Olympic Games, we've got the Diamond Jubilee – we have a lot to feel good about. And I think really wearing something with a Union Jack on really is showing how proud we are to be British. I think it's time we fly the flag with real pride, so I'm very excited."

Remember, just before Bob Peck was ripped apart by velociraptors in Jurassic Park, and he said "clever girl"? He wasn't talking about his impending doom, he was talking about Geri Halliwell.

There's five separate designs available, incorporating an awful looking bikini, an alright looking maxi dress and an updated, not slaggy looking version of the dress she wore at the Brit Awards, with a nifty cowl neck and sequins added.

God that was a little bit Vogue wasn't it?

In reparation for that, have these instead: poo, bum, wee, willy, front fanny and something to make your Friday start with a, what's less than a bang? A rhythm?