Skrillex & Ellie Goulding’s Blossoming Romance Pre-Emptively Named Least Interesting Thing Of 2012

It might surprise you to learn that dubstep superstar Skrillex has managed to evade our detection up until now. Fans of uninspired, grimy rubbish need live in fear no longer. He finally matters to us!

Why do we suddenly care what the Greasy-Haired Prince of the Undercut is up to? Well, in case you haven't heard he's been making kissy-faces with Ellie Goulding of "having a jaw the size of a cruise-liner" fame.

There we go, there's your jokes about their appearances. Did you enjoy them? No? Good.

You might remember that we revealed Ellie's split from Radio 1 DJ Greg James last month and we know that you've been perched on the edge of your seats waiting for more news of everyone's favourite indie-pop bore. You need wait no longer!

It appears that as soon as she had jumped out of bed with DJ Greg, she's jumped right back into bed with DJ Skrillex and there's only one way that can end: with DJ Skrillex huddled in a ball, naked and crying while DJ James leaps around the room proclaiming his dominion.

That's just one possible scenario.

It appears that this isn't a new development either. It appears that Starry-Eyed Goulding has been spending quality time with Mr Sonny Moore (not as exciting as Skrillex, is it?) since the end of last year which could make her a love-cheat. It doesn't though. We checked. Sorry.

A source, that was invented by a Red-Top newspaper in order to pad out the story "said":

"Ellie and Skrillex are fans of each other's music and met at the end of last year. It has blossomed into something more than friendship, but it is still early days."

Fans of each other's music, eh? What a bland, pH neutral relationship they must have. It must be like drowning in a beige lake.

Of course, it's not just fictional sources that are banging on about our new favourite dullards, Miss Goulding herself has been mouthing off about producers and whatnot.

"The other day I just found somewhere where it was like, it clicked in my brain that I wanted to work with that person. And I won't say who it is but I think it could be awesome if I end up doing stuff with him."

"Doing stuff" in this case, meaning musical stuff. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Keep up to date on the latest happenings in the lives of Ellillex (we'll work on it) here on hecklerspray! Let's face it, our own lives aren't boring enough.