There is no-one more hateful on planet Earth than Bruno Mars. Absolutely everything about him is odious to the point of a year-long continuous vomit. And yet, there's people out there who are determined to keep him in the public eye.
His songs are played, his stupid goofy expression keeps appearing on our televisions and no-one seems to care that he sang 'meet a really nice girl and have some really nice sex, and she's gonna scream out 'THIS IS GREAT!'' while others willingly join in with "I'll be lounging on my couch just chillin' in my snuggie"
You monsters. And now, the law has decided that cocaine possession charges against Mars should be dismissed when really, he should've been sent to the electric chair for his awful, tepid, vapid, intestinal dissolving music.
So what happened? Well, Mars was arrested in September in some toilets. This normally ends in someone exposing their nether regions to an uncover policeman or Louis Walsh threatening to kill himself, but alas, Bruno was caught with a bag of cocaine.
He admitted the charge and fined $2000 (£1296) and given 12 months' probation. He then completed some community service, seeing that his guilty plea would now be taken off his record.
However, the prosecutors obviously forgot to bring up his biggest crime: his album Doo Wops & Hooligans.
If those concerned had taken his music into account, then they would have had no other option than to put Bruno Mars to sleep.
The options are vast in America. They could've sent him to the chair or given him a lethal injection. So bad is Bruno Mars' song 'Grenades', then public sympathy for a firing squad is not out of the realms of possibility.
In short, despite being one of the first musicians to totally be let-off from a drug-charge without much fuss, the American legal system has released one of the biggest monsters in history back to an ear-owning public. First you made stars of Nickelback and now this?!
Shame on you America. SHAME ON YOU.
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